Who Are We?
by Ruj
Summary: This fic explores Lee and Kara's past and present to see if they can have a future. The story explores their identities and why they never got together, has an AU backstory, pre miniseries.It has action, humour, romance, drama, angst and pranks. Take a
1. Chapter 1

Set Post 'Hand Of God' S1 Episode 8.

AN: Will take some liberties with the past especially Lee & Kara at the academy, raider's in the past simulators are 'revved up' guesses from the colonials, as we know that Bill Adama fought in the 1st Cylon war as a fighter pilot, so they must have had some type of aerial fighter. Complete fluff at times will try to work in some angst. AU inregards to pre mini series.

AN2: This fic came about as i wondered about the difference between Apollo & Starbuck, and Kara &Lee, in the air/space andon ground their relationship is very different,I hope to show how Lee became Apollo and Kara became Starbuck. This fic is has fluff but the underlying theme will be identity, and its importance.I wanted to mention this at the outset as the first chapter is lighter thanthe show (very much like the beginning of 'Act of Contrition' S1 ep4), but it will get darker, andwe willsee why Leeand Kara never got together, and if they can overcome their past, the danger's of the present and the uncertainty of the future to be together. I hope that helps, enjoy the fluff, hopefully I've got it out of system.

**Who Are We? Starbuck & Apollo or Kara & Lee**

'Apollo You Magnificent Bastard I couldn't have done better myself' 'Starbuck to Apolloin the Hand of God'

"It's been a month since we began refuelling the fleet, how are the pilots, Captain?"

"Fine, Sir" Lee replied, to tell the truth the pilots were getting bored, they hadn't detected any Cylon presence for just over four weeks and they had more than enough fuel, Baltar in one of his more coherent phases had managed to create a more efficient way to process the tylium so fuel shortages were no longer a critical issue at least for 5 years barring an incidents.

"Take a seat Lee"

"Sir? The pilots are fine, relaxed, Starbuck's new batch of nuggets are about to join the rest of the squadron, so that's good news." There wasn't much else to add, the weekly debriefings had been regular for a while now.

"Ahh, now I understand."

"Sir?"

"I was a pilot too, remember. A relaxed viper pilot is a restless one."

"Yes, Sir" Lee felt relieved, for the first time since the attacks, Lee was able to actually carry out all of his CAG duties, unfortunately they had been running hard and been on a state of high alert that neither he or the rest of the pilots had been able to truly relax. There had been so many no additions in the squadrons that less than 20 of the Galactica's original viper squadron were still flying. Lee hardly knew the squad he was commanding other than their call signs and how they flew, they needed to bond.

"What's the matter Lee, other than a minor incident with 'Pixie' the other day everything has been routine" Bill could tell that Lee was holding something back, he just needed coaxing.

"It's that incident that has me slightly worried, I know that 'Pixie' is still a rookie, but she forgot basic protocol on a routine flight, and I know that it wasn't fatal, but what about when we face the Cylon's again, Starbuck has done incredible with all the nuggets but they still don't know ¼ of what they would have learnt at the academy. I think that we should take advantage of this down time to train the pilots more especially in theory and maintenance, Starbuck barely had time to get them flight ready before, and it's not just the nuggets and rooks, even the most experienced pilots had only flown in mock battles and battle simulations before the destruction of the colonies. This is the first extended break we've had since the jump from the colonies."

"So, what's the problem Lee, everything you've said makes perfect sense?"

"That this is the first break we've had, the pilots deserve all the down time they can get, and I don't to increase their workload."

"You just said they were bored, no, it's a good idea Lee, not only will it increase the pilot's knowledge and their chances of survival, but it also gives them something to do when they're not on CAP."

**Ready Room, 2 days later. Full Squadron briefing.**

"Attention On Deck!"

"As you were" Commander William Adama stated as he stood behind the podium.

"This briefing is also being sent over the wireless to the CAP, is it not?" Bill asked Tigh, who nodded an affirmative.

"Starbuck, Hawk and Kat, do you read?"

"Clear Sir, This is Starbuck we read you." Kara's voice was heard over the speaker's in the ready room. The pilots all sat up, this was not a normal briefing.

"As you are all aware, this is the first break we've had since our departure from Colonial space; the command staff has decided to take advantage of this time to refresh our training. This is your first war, by now you have all faced combat situations and survived, however we now have the opportunity to complete your training. Unless we are at condition one, either myself, Colonel Tigh, Captain Adama, Lieutenant Thrace and Chief Tyrol will be quizzing you. If you have questions, ask, there will be no penalties for asking questions. If you don't know the answer, say so. This is the time to learn and ask questions people use it wisely. The areas will be Flight, Theory, Combat and Maintenance. Any questions?" Bill asked as Chief Tyrol entered the room from the back and nodded once.

"Sir, will Captain Adama and Lieutenant be tested as well?"

"Lieutenant Thrace will be tested by myself, Colonel Tigh, Chief Tyrol and Captain Adama. Whereas Captain Adama will be tested by either myself, Colonel Tigh, Chief Tyrol and Lieutenant Thrace at any time." The Commander answered 'Hotdog's' question. He was brought short however by the sound of laughter over the speaker's, and feminine peal that he couldn't remember when he heard it last.

"Starbuck?"

"Sorry Sir, Did I hear that right. I get to test Apollo." At this remark Lee clenched his jaw.

"That's affirmative Starbuck"

"Oh Thank the Lords…time for payback"

"Starbuck? You do realise you're still on wireless and I can hear you right?"

"Sir, Yes, Sir!" came the amused reply along with another gale of laughter. Lee was forcing his face not to redden at the attention of the room, all of them wondering at the cause of Starbuck's amusement.

"Lieutenant, careful" Apollo's tone had sharpened.

"Commander, permission to start the tests?" Kara's question had Bill intrigued, he hadn't heard her carefree like this ever.

"Granted, Lieutenant." He could hear Lee groan behind him, as it was he could barely keep a smile of his face, he could tell Saul was curious too, they were witnessing a new side to both Apollo and Starbuck, Apollo normally remained professional at all times and Starbuck hadn't sounded this relaxed since the war began.

"Captain, how do you pull out of a tailspin, in increasing gravity with only two functioning engines and partial thrusters?" Kara's voice came across clear and sharp, with a slight edge of amusement. The entire room looked at Lee, waiting for his response.

"Pull back full on the throttle, cut thrusters, divert power to rear engine, and reduce speed whilst braking." Lee answered without pause, he knew why Kara was so gleeful, they had 'quizzed' each other like this throughout Flight School and War School. It's where he got the idea from.

"Ding, Ding, Ding. That is the right answer. Textbook even." Her amused voice crackled.

"Starbuck" Lee warned.

"Sorry, See Boys and Girls it's that easy, no need to worry." Starbuck assured the rest of the pilots.

"That was easy?" Racetrack's apprehensive voice carried through the room.

"Both the Captain and Lieutenant will be tested on a different level, to everyone else" Commander Adama assured the squadron. "Now for the surprise" At this Lee looked up, he wasn't aware of any surprise. "Chief Tyrol, Lieutenant Gaeta and Dr Baltar have worked on turning two permanently grounded vipers into simulators. Lt Gaeta and Dr Baltar worked on the Cylon enemies and have assured me that there are many added extras and increased difficulties." At this Lee smiled, until he remembered something he wished he could forget. He could imagine Kara's smile over the comm, 'he had heard her laugh more in the last 30 minutes than she had in over 2 years.' "The simulators will be used for training and competitions." William Adama finished off.

**That evening…In the Rec Room.**

It was during the third hand of triad that the topic turned to the Commander's briefing earlier. Crash, Boomer, Hotdog, Kat, Racetrack and one of Kara's newest nuggets 'Mouse' were discussing the quizzes.

"I wonder if the CAG would do private tuition?" Racetrack asked the table, both Hotdog and Crash sniggered as Kat and Boomer laughed. Poor Mouse just blushed; especially as she heard her instructor's laughter from the doorway, as she turned she saw the Lt. Thrace's eye's sparkle.

"It's what he's best at." Starbuck replied as she sat down and winked at Mouse, who bless her heart blushed harder, Starbuck knew that the rookie had a massive crush on Apollo as did most of the women on Galactica and some of the men too.

"Who's best at what? Hey guy's deal me in" Apollo said as he hooked a chair from another table and sat opposite Starbuck and in between Hotdog and Mouse. "So who are you guys talking about?"

"You, apparently. I just got here." Starbuck said with a grin.

"What am I best at?" Apollo asked.

"Why, private tuition, of course" Kara bantered back

"Kara" Lee warned

"What? It's what you were famous for at College." Kara teased.

"Really?" Hotdog's interest was peaked.

"Yep, he was the most **in-demand** student, spent all night sometimes, giving classmates all the extra attention they could need." Kara knew she shouldn't tease Lee like this in public, but she couldn't help it, she missed being with him like this.

"Starbuck!"

"What? It's not like I told them about them about the time you got caught giving General Hanson's daughter a private lesson on thrust control in your viper" Her grin was cheeky, daring him to deny it.

"Kara! Would you shut up already?" Lee begged the all the women around looked at him speculatively except Mouse who wouldn't meet his eyes; Hotdog looked at him in awe and Crashdown as if he couldn't believe it.

"Is there even enough room?" Crash asked after a moment.

"The seats move back" Lee answered without thought, then blushed as he realised what he had just admitted. Kara just laughed and laughed, she hadn't seen Lee blush in years, and she would have to find a way to do it again, maybe in front of his father.

Lee narrowed his eyes at Kara, who was still laughing incidentally, "at least I didn't get caught frakking the guard while I was supposed to be in hack!" 'there' he thought 'see how you like it!' Kara stopped laughing immediately.

"Lee you got caught naked, in your viper with the General's daughter, by the General! It doesn't even compare"

"How the Frak did you get away with that?" Hotdog asked "Sir" he added belatedly.

"Please, He's Apollo, he got away with everything, but after the incident with the General's daughter his nick name at the academy was Golden B--"

"Kara I swear to the Gods if you complete that sentence I will ground you permanently," Lee shouted in desperation, thank god he was the CAG.

"Whatever you say GB" she bantered back; she didn't think he'd do it, but really hated that nick name, so she didn't risk it, plus she could just torture him by calling him GB.

Slowly the word got out around the ship, that interesting facts were being revealed at the card table in rec room 3, neither Starbuck nor Apollo noticed the gradual increase in officers in the room. The Battlestar Galactica had heard such interesting gossip since the beginning of the Cylon attacks.

"Starbuck, **DO NOT PUSH ME**, I've got some stories of my own, remember.

"How long have you and the Lt. known each other Captain? I thought you were only assigned to the Galactica for the decommissioning ceremony and then got stuck here…" Mouse trailed off as everybody turned to her most had forgotten she was still at the table.

Kara and Lee stared at each other, communicating silently debating exactly how much of their shared past should they reveal, after a few seconds Kara nodded slightly and let Lee know he could answer Mouse, to tell the truth she had been anticipating the question a hell of lot earlier, they hadn't hidden their friendship but the assumed her laughter had increased speculation.

"I've known Lt. Thrace since Flight school, we were in the same class, and then we were partners for War College and Officer's Candidate School, so we've known each other for nearly 10 years now, wow I hadn't realised it's been that long." Lee broke off.

"I told you, we're getting old" Kara replied, echoing her words from their reunion in the brig months earlier.

Mouse liked to observe, it's partly why she got her call sign, add to her petite body, she was indeed mouse like, but she also excelled a quick analysis of information, all viper pilots had to be, so she was the first to realise that something didn't add up in the Captain's explanation, she knew that Captain Adama was 28, as was Lt. Thrace (she knew as she had practically stalked the Captain when she first arrived 2 months ago), and she also knew that Lt. Thrace had been an academy flight instructor on Picon before joining Galactica's squadron, Captain Adama had been stationed upon the Atlantia for a while she had heard, so the timeline didn't add up somehow, she didn't understand why the Captain who lie about something like that. "That doesn't make sense…" she spoke to herself.

"What doesn't make sense Mouse?" Starbuck asked the shy nugget, something about Mouse called on Starbuck's protective instincts, she was also painfully shy, which a viper pilot could ill afford in Battlestar accommodations, so Starbuck tried her best to always include Mouse whenever she could, right now however she was chewing slightly on her bottom lip, as she calculated something in her mind, so when she quietly mumbled something Mama Starbuck picked up on it.

"It's just that I thought you were a flight instructor for 2 years before you joined the Galactica" Mouse asked.

"Yep 2 years at Picon, why?"

"And you've been on the Galactica for…?"

"Almost 3 years where are you going with this Mouse" she couldn't see her point, Hotdog's expression showed comprehension, as it was he was one the most recent from the academy, even if he had dropped out, so when he mentally calculated what Mouse was getting at he was amazed.

"You completed Flight School, War College and Officer's Candidate School in 5 years! That's impossible." Hotdog exclaimed he looked at Starbuck and Apollo in disbelief.

There was a gasp from somewhere in the room, Apollo internally cursed Mouse and Hotdog's ingenuity; he had forgotten how unusual their training had actually been compared to other pilots.

"I don't get it? What's the big deal," Kat asked, she one of nuggets that had been a civilian pilot before the attacks.

It was Crash who answered her however, "The deal is that Basic Flight can take up to 2 years, Viper flight is another year, War College is at least 3 years long and Officer's is an extra 2 years. So that's 8 years total, 6 even if you cut Basic. It's just not done."

"It took us 4 years" Starbuck answered, she like hated to be different, but it was too late for that.

"Starbuck!" Lee was amazed she was actually offering more information.

"What? It's not like they hadn't figured it out already" with that she turned to the rest of the table, "when you get to the academy, one of the very first things they do is a quick 1 hour basic flight theory, then they throw you into group sims immediately, so that they can cut the slackers almost immediately, nobody lasts longer than 10 minutes in these first sims since they were introduced to the training program. However in our first simulation 2 cadets were still flying after 20 minutes, after which the instructor cut the sim. After that little display we were put on an accelerated course, that only a handful in the history of the academy have ever been selected for. We worked hard, learning everything, we both completed basic flight within a month, (she ignored the gasp that followed, and Lee's raise of his Ambrosia, he was impressed she had told this much, plus he rarely heard her 'instructor' voice.) we then moved on to Viper's." She stopped suddenly with a small smile of remembrance.

"Viper's?" Boomer prompted

"If the instructors were impressed with our Sims, that was nothing compared to us in Viper's." Lee had picked up the story, it had been a along time since he had thought of their training, not since Zak. "So we flew through Viper's so we trained on anything that could fly, raptors, destroyers, frigates, bomber's anything and everything if it could fly, we flew it. But we had still completed 3 years of training in 9 months, so they moved us to War College. Where we both worked as hard as we could, non-stop, we doubled up on modules, we learned everything we could, combat, tactic, command, rescue, intelligence, navigation, communication, they made us learn everything, they didn't let us near a viper for 6 months, but that took us 2 years. After that we were asked to join Officer's, so we spent a year there and then we were released, Starbuck was asked to teach and Atlantia offered me a position."

"That satisfy everybody's curiosity, no lets get back to the game, I'm in for 20," she threw the chits as everybody groaned.

Lee was beyond annoyed, he was pissed off, it had been over a week since the Kara had told half of Galactica about his exploits at the Academy, he had to have the chief put a lock on his mach 7 as it was the only viper left that could have its seat move back, thank the lords the mach 2 birds didn't have the capability or the chief would have his head for letting that piece of information out. But he was sick of the looks; the absolute worst were the one from the men who had previously written him off as the commander's uptight by-the –books son, now they almost bowed for him. Kara was so bad that he had ended up scheduling her for the majority of patrols, just so he could avoid her and her smirk; her laughter was almost always ringing in his ears nowadays. She had actually been back from her patrol for 30 minutes now, once she was in the shower he could implement his revenge, ok it was incredibly childish and not very well thought out but it was all he could come up with, especially with his limited resources. The plan was simple; he had already switched her shampoo, now all he had to do was wait for the screams. He should probably make his way to CIC, his father would probably be the only person that could stop Kara from killing him and it's only fair that Tigh get to see Kara in all her glory, but he'd wait for the first scream, just so he could enjoy the entire experience. 5 4 3 2 1

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

LEE-FRAKKIN-ADAMA-I-AM-GOING-TO-KILL-YOU-SO-VERY-DEAD!"

Yep that was worth waiting for, he laughed hard, "LEEEEEE!" Oh Frak she heard him, time to run. The crew of the Galactica got to witness their CAG being chased by a very wet-towel-clad angry Starbuck, with bright pink hair; it was a rare sight indeed.

There 5 metres ahead, his salvation CIC door, he had miscalculated Kara's speed whilst holding on to her towel, it seemed her anger made her faster, as it was he just beat her. If he had been concentrating on who was ahead of him he may have regretted the timing of his actions as it was he barely had time to avoid a collision with the President of the Colonies, he had just managed to choke out "Dad-help"

Commander Adama barely had time to react to his CAG running into the CIC as if he had the hounds of Hades at his heels, let alone what could have happened, he hadn't been notified of an emergencies, in fact he had brought the president in to the CIC because they had run out topics during their bi-weekly meetings. Of all the situations he could have imagined a furious towel clad very angry pink hair Starbuck was nowhere on the list.

"Lee- I am going to beat the frakkin crap out of you for this where are-" Starbuck had stopped, she realised a few things quickly, that she in the middle of CIC, wet and holding on tightly to a rather small towel, and Lee the frakking coward had run to his dad, Oh Lords she was naked in the middle of CIC with pink hair, in front of Commander Adama, Colonel Tigh, Oh Lords is that the frakking President! Oh she was really gonna kill Lee for this. Witnesses or no.

"What in the 9 hells is going on here!"

She saluted, "Sir! Lee put dye in my hair Sir!"

Lee stiffened 'plausible deniability' he reminded himself, "Sir, I have no idea what Lt. Thrace is referring to Sir."

"Liar! Who else would it be! You're just getting me back because I let slip about the time you got caught frakking General Hanson's daughter in your viper!" 'Hah' see how you like that!

"KARA, for the love of the Gods, shut up!" Lee shouted, his plan had backfired; now he was embarrassed in front of father and the president!

"Fix it!" Starbuck took a step towards Lee threateningly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, anyway pink suits you!" Lee said then quickly stepped back as Kara lunged for him. "Didn't you paint Major Walker's office pink as a leaving present?"

"Lee!" Kara blushed and avoided looking at the Commander's eyes.

President Laura Roslin had survived the holocaust of the colonies, she had taken on the mantle of president as she was the highest ranking political cabinet member to survive, but before the holocaust she had spent many years as a school teacher, so she recognised the scene in front of her immediately, the fact that they were currently on a battleship, at war with the Cylon's and the pair of squabbling children were actually the two leading pilots barely registered. She glanced at Commander Adama and was shocked, he looked like he was just about to choke, or burst into peals of laughter, she suspected the latter but he was trying t maintain some form of military decorum.

"Lt. Thrace, go get dressed then report to my office" Starbuck saluted then almost ran from the CIC at the Commander's words, "Captain go to my office now and wait for me there." Lee left the room with his tail between his legs. Once he had left William lost it and burst out laughing. The sound of his laughter and the rest of the room echoed through the ship.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all my reviewers, I'm relieved that you're all fluff lovers, I swear my muse forced me to, originally it wasn't quite so 'funny', but what can you do, so I have decided to let this story write itself (like I could stop it! LOL) But this note is just to say a heartfelt thank you, I've never had so many wonderful reviews, in honour of that this story is the first of mine to be updated, so I hope you enjoy. **

**PS: please read the AN, at the bottom where I pitifully attempt to justify the decisions made in this chapter.**

**Anyway enough with the thanking, I'm sure you get the picture, on with the story.**

**Chapter Two: **

Cadet Kara Thrace had tremors running through her body, her heart had never beat so fast, she couldn't stop her foot from tapping on the floor, as fast as her heart was beating it was nowhere near as fast as he remind was running. Lords of Kobol she had never felt that good before, Kara was no maiden, but nothing had ever experienced with anyone had come close, and this was only 20 minutes and that was cut short. Another part of mind was terrified, had she done something wrong? Normally she wouldn't give a frak about being thrown out of anywhere, but that was before. She thought nothing could beat the high of a really good pyramid game, but then an injury in her knee had destroyed that dream, and she had applied to 'Flight School' on a whim, but the second that simulation began she knew without any doubt in her soul that this was where she belonged. In a cockpit, Kara had finally found her home, for the first time in 18 years Kara had felt free, from her mother's vengeful words and from pain. She thought she had done well, she was one of the last two cadets to remain granted, it was only 20 minutes but she believed she could have carried on, if they hadn't stopped, besides everybody else, excluding one had been 'killed' 10 minutes in to the exercise.

But here she was, sitting outside her instructor's office, but for the first time in her life Kara did not know what she had done wrong, and she was petrified that they were going to stop her from flying, if this is how she felt after 20 minutes in a simulator then she couldn't wait for the real thing! Kara was hyped up more than she had ever been before, pyramid games and sex included and the fact that she was afraid for her future, the largest part of her mind wasn't on any of those issues. In fact the most prevalent thing on her mind was the identity of her mystery partner from the Sims. Who the hell was that? It was all she could do during the flight to pay attention to her own flight and controls, instead she was drawn to the viper in the formation to her left, and as the bird's dropped one by one all of sudden the sky was theirs. Silently and without thought they fell into position, well he/she flew moved to her wing and flew as though they had always been there, and it felt euphoric, they were flying through the obstacles together as if they were one and something clicked in place for Kara Thrace, the piece she had been missing. Before Kara could even contemplate the 'rightness' of it all her world fell out, the screens went blank and her basic flight instructor opened the canopy to her sim. As Kara got out she noticed that the room was empty, her heart was pounding, her face flush and her instructor had a look on her face that she couldn't place, was it anger, disappointment, disbelief, resentment, she didn't know what it was but it didn't look positive. Kara tried to look around to see if the other pilot was around to see what they looked like, did they feel it too? Or was she abnormal? They must have been another room, she knew there were three. All she could do was follow her very silent instructor out of the room, and that had been 10 minutes ago. 'Only 10 minutes? Kara thought to herself, it felt longer'. Her instructor had shown her to an office, seated her then left with a quick "I'll be back soon". Belatedly Kara realised that this wasn't any ordinary office, in fact she was pretty sure that had she been paying attention she would have seen the plaque on the door, she at least saw the name plate on the desk in front of her, General Cassidy, Oh Lords what had she done that got her sent to the highest ranking officer on the base! She stiffened as she heard the door open behind her.

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Lee exhaled hard and tightened his grip on the throttle, as if it could stop the screen from shutting down in front of him, anything to prolong the most exhilarating and perfect 20 minutes of his life. Lee had never wanted to join the Colonial service; still it was the dutiful thing to do, so he had joined. He still didn't get along with his father, the few times a year he actually saw him, Lee couldn't forgive him, not for choosing his battleship over his family and breaking his mother's heart, they had been divorced for 5 years now, but the divorce had been the final straw, it had robbed him of his childhood, Lee became 'the man of the house', he had a baby brother to take care of, his mother was amazing and his relationship with her was one of the most precious things in his life, but Lee had felt responsible for his family and made sure he was the perfect son, not for his father the war hero, but because he had a little brother who looked up to him and as the son of Commander William 'Husker' Adama, he had a lot of attention on him, so he had done as expected, but nothing could have prepared him for what he experienced.

He never understood his father, especially when he spoke about his work; he had listened but hadn't heard. The child in him resented the service for taking his father away from him, spent most of his adolescence hating the words of his childhood:

'_A Man is not really a man until he wears the wings of a viper pilot'_

He may not agree with the statement but for the first time Lee thought he could begin to understand, at least the 'wings' part. After only 20 minutes in a simulator Lee could see why his father loved flying, what a rush. It didn't excuse him, and Lee didn't forgive him but for the first time Lee could remember he thought he could identify with his father. As the canopy was being opened Lee's thoughts turned to the flight, nothing had felt that good, that right, and that perfect before. Lee excelled at all his subjects, but only because of hard work and diligence. But flying had been this easiest thing, the hardest part was stopping. Lee didn't know how or why but once the sim began, everything fell into place, he instinctively knew what the instructors had been attempting to explain during their brief 1 hour basic theory, his mind knew what to do and his body carried out the commands, and Lee was one with his bird. As the course went on, Lee felt the other's leave the program, and the possessive part of him was glad, this was his, Lee's, he wasn't the perfect son, the ideal elder brother, his mother's pride and joy, he didn't care if the entire world was watching, this was his. Lee's, something he hadn't had before, he cherished it. But he wasn't alone; he could feel the viper on his right, surprisingly he didn't mind, he was drawn to it, he followed his instincts and flew to its wing and Lee's universe expanded and contracted all at once, he honestly thought he had blacked out for a moment, he could feel the earth shift and the heavens open, and then snap! Something connected, he felt complete, content and right. But before he knew it, the experience was cut short, and he gripped the throttle hard, he had never felt such a strong burst of aggression before, he wanted to, no he needed to hit something or someone, the person who had dared to end his flight. His body hummed with barely restrained power, raw and pounding in his veins, Lee needed release, Lords he could frak something hard right now, he had never felt so visceral before, Lee was surprised, so surprised that he barely noticed where he being led, or who by. Lee having had military courtesy drilled into him as a child regardless of the state of his parent's marriage, he knew better than to speak before being spoken to.

Suddenly he was standing in front of a door, 'General D. Cassidy' Oh Frak, how had he ended up in front of the general! He didn't think he had done anything wrong, as he was just coming down from the adrenaline, he was seeing how unusual his exit from the sim had been, there had nobody else left in the room, none of his fellow cadets had been present, his instructor's blank expression, the silence, he was being escorted to the General's office, when he expecting a 'well done' and a pat on the back for being one of the last two birds in the air. Actually he had been hoping to find out who was in the other viper, see who had flown with him as if they always had, as if they were one? Instead he was about to meet the most powerful person on the base. As he entered the room behind the instructor he noticed a small blonde girl sitting impatiently in a chair, tapping her foot restlessly, wearing a flushed look on her face. She had opened her mouth to speak when the instructor spoke in brusque tones "The two of you wait here, the general is viewing the footage of your sim exercise, he'll in as soon as he's done, I need to get back to the rest of the nuggets, but you two…that was…look that was good work." And with that she was gone.

Kara looked at the boy as he fell in to the seat next to her, for a moment all she could see was blue, endless pools of sapphires, she shook herself, she had never reacted so strongly to someone before in her life, 'it's because I'm still hot from the sim, I'd jump anyone right know, and the fact that he happened to look like an Adonis, a frakking God, couldn't tempt her more right now. Then it hit her, he was the other pilot! Her mystery partner, her wingman, the one who flew like one with her, Oh lords now she really did want to frak him! 'Apollo give me strength', she prayed as she clenched her thighs, only the knowledge that the General himself was coming soon, stopping her from stripping him with her teeth. So she decided to say something, anything to stop the lust that was coursing through her to erupt.

"You're the one in the other viper?" 'Oh real smart Thrace state the obvious why don't you'.

Lee just nodded and his eyes widened as he realised who that meant she was, his hands automatically tightened on the arms of his chair, so hard they nearly snapped. If he thought he felt visceral when first came out of the sim, he was wrong. Every single cell in his body vibrated at seeing this blonde girl, lust raged through him, and he swore he had never been so hard, so turned on in his life, the urge frak this woman was so strong, all he wanted to do was take her there and then, to mark her and make her his, he was shocked at how primal he felt, desire had never been so overwhelming, that was nothing absolutely nothing to how he felt when he heard her voice, slightly husky, and then what she said hit him, and he realised what it meant, this blonde goddess was the other pilot! His other half, his wingman and suddenly the need to mark this woman and be marked by her flew through him he tightened his grip on the chair to stop them from ripping her flight suit off and frakking her right then and there! On the General's desk, he didn't care who saw them, the male in him relished the thought 'that will let all other's know who she belongs to', Lee had never been a territorial or possessive man, or so he had thought, he'd fight for his family of course, and his beliefs but what shocked him most was that no part of him was shocked at his instincts, he also realised as much as he wanted and needed to devour this woman, he also needed and desired her to do the same to him, they were a partnership, equals, what he had, she also had. A small part of his brain was amazed at what had come from 20 minutes in a flight simulator, but everything felt right, until she licked her bottom lip. 'Oh Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer' his mind whispered the prayer as his body lost the fight.

Kara had never been looked at quite like this before, every inch of her had been devoured, layer by layer, inch by inch, she felt like ambrosia, his eyes though, they covered her, heated her, surprisingly she felt sheltered, safe, even though he looked like he was a hairsbreadth away from possessing her, she wasn't scared, she didn't feel an ounce of fear, not from her wingman. His muscles bunched as his grip clenched on the arm rests; she swore she could hear the wood creak in response. Lords had she never wanted anything as much as him, right now, on that desk, General be damned she wanted him, her blood called for him; she licked her bottom lip in anticipation. It seemed to be the final straw, as one they got up and reached for the other…when General Dean 'Gryphon' Cassidy entered his office.

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Kara was beyond excited, she would never admit it but she actually felt giddy. Today was the day that the simulators were being first used, and she was dying to fly in one again. Truthfully she was dying to fly with Apollo in one, sims were never as good as the real thing but it was the only place either of them could fly freely without restrictions, regulations and more recently responsibilities. Okay at the moment she was 'at war' with Lee, but her 'war' with Lee made her smile (not in public of course) but she had missed interacting with him like they used to. Just Lee and Kara or Starbuck and Apollo, they're exchanges were legendary at college, both in the air and on the ground. She was stuck though, most of her pranks were fine on a base at peace time, but on a decaying battlestar in the middle of a war with the Cylons? It would be dangerous to cream his viper, what if they had to launch an attack? So that left the route that had started this little impromptu war, embarrassment, she had enough ammunition against him; she just had to time it for maximum effect. But that could wait until after she got to fly with and against him in the Sims.

"Starbuck, a word" Apollo asked as soon as she entered.

"Sure what's up Capt?" she asked still giddy.

He dragged to one side, "You know what this is about, and promise me you'll hold back."

"Worried, you still can't beat me?"

"Starbuck this is serious, we have our orders-"

"Admiral Nagala is dead, that world is dead. Apollo you can't tell me you don't want to as much as I do"

"You know I do, but those orders were for a reason, and that reason still stands"

"I know" she said, not managing to keep the hurt from her voice. "I just miss it; it's been nearly 7 years Lee."

"I know, but we promised, we would never compete in the air, space or Sims, it's just too dangerous. You remember what happened to Moss"

"Of course I remember, like I could forget" Moss, Ben Moss had been a cadet, a year behind Lee and Kara; unfortunately he died attempting a manoeuvre that he had seen Apollo and Starbuck complete both in Sims and in the air the week before. It took a long time for herself or Lee to forgive themselves, they were used to being the best at what they did, it never occurred to them that others found difficult, what they could do easily. After that incident, Admiral Nagala himself had ordered them to stop their extravagances in the air or the Sims. Between the two of them they had broken every record set at the academy, and in the service, but both the incident and their test and competition scores had been classified and buried. They were seen as an anomaly, a one off, they didn't mind, they knew how good they were they didn't want or need the attention, Kara hadn't regretted it…but she really missed it, the freedom, nothing was as good as flying with Lee at full strength, not even sex. And she hadn't felt it for nearly 7 years. They had flown together since, and even against the cylons were they rarely pushing it, they did enough to survive and hopefully destroy their vipers. It was only at extreme times when they had to stop holding back, like saving Lee at Ragnar, or taking on eight raiders alone, or when Lee flew into the conveyor to blow the refinery. Kara had meant it when she called Apollo 'a magnificent bastard', it had been a long time since she had seen him fly like that, like he used to, like he was meant to. Flying with Lee at full strength also resulted in the biggest 'high' afterwards, so far they had always managed to find other people to relieve the tension with, they had an understanding to avoid one another after a 'good' flight, neither of them wanted their first time together to be due to an adrenaline high, they both wanted more than that, not that they ever mentioned anything or acknowledged it, like all the most important things in their lives it was 'unspoken'.

"I'm sorry Kara, maybe I can arrange a time for just the two of us, alone with nobody watching" Lee offered.

"And when we finished?" Kara asked, coming dangerously close to saying the unspoken.

"Oh, yeah sorry, didn't think about that." Lee said apologetically.

"Does your Dad know? About us not competing I mean." Kara asked suddenly.

"I guess not, I mean it's not in our official records is it. Not like a reprimand, we were just supposed to avoid the comps."

"So you'll have to tell him."

"What? Why me"

"You're his son"

"He likes you better."

"Lee"

"Kara"

"You know if we tell him he'll probably just get curious, I mean some of those scores we beat were his, he probably doesn't even know." Kara said.

"You can find out, when you tell him."

"Sorry Captain, that's the CAG's job" Kara smirked as she sauntered in to the room.

Kara had been right; Adama was intrigued about their Sims and had given the order for them to fly, much to Kara's delight. The Commander had also forbidden the squadron to copy any un-regulation moves they may see. So an hour after their confrontation Lee and Kara were about to start their first brand new sim, at full strength in 7 years. Adama had also decided to broadcast their sim to the rest of the crew for entertainment, Gods knows they both needed and deserved it. The President had also come aboard, and what was to be an introduction to Lt Gaeta, Dr Baltar and Chief Tyrol's Viper simulation had become the most anticipated event since the Cylon attacks on the colonies. There were wagers flowing all over the ship, as many had witnessed Starbuck's pink hair incident (which was still fading) and were eager to see if she would use the opportunity to embarrass the Captain, who had been the obvious culprit. (The incident had also gained Apollo a cult following, not many could take on Starbuck and live to tell the tale, but most on board the Galactica had lost to Starbuck at Triad over the years, and many people had wished revenge).

Starbuck was hyped, she was slightly nervous, incredibly impatient and she honestly believed that the anticipation would give her a stroke. She absentmindedly notice that Doc Cottle was also present watching the proceedings, on the enlarged screen in the room. There were numerous screens set up around the Galactica for those who could not leave their posts, plus one in CIC and in the Hanger Deck. She wasn't afraid of being beaten by Apollo, she relished the challenge, but it had been so long, then she thought of upping the stakes.

"Hey Apollo, wanna up the stakes?" she called over the comms.

"What could be better that beating you into the ground Starbuck?" The arrogance could be heard in his voice, many around the Galactica groaned 'was he mad? Pissing off Starbuck was never a smart idea' others were wondering at this new side to the CAG.

"Tell you what, 'oh great Apollo'" she mocked "when I beat you, I want something, other than the satisfaction of course."

"What?" Apollo asked warily, she was up to something.

"How about if-sorry, when I win, you have to get 'Property of Starbuck' tattooed in the place of my choosing, up for it? Or are you afraid you'll lose." Starbuck taunted.

There were a variety of reactions to Starbuck's challenge, most were shocked and surprised, the pilots just laughed at her audacity. The president just raised an eyebrow and Tigh was amazed. Adama however just grinned, he had never met Starbuck until after Zak died, but he had heard about her from various sources, mainly Zak and Caroline, Caroline had known Kara since she had been at the Academy with Lee. Bill had heard Caroline talk about Lee and Kara's friendship and her relationship with Zak. He remembered a conversation that took place just after Bill had received the letter from Zak hinting about his engagement to Kara, Bill had asked Caroline point blank "Is Zak doing the right thing?" Caroline's reply had confused him "Kara loves our son, she completes him like no other, she would make the perfect partner" it hadn't been the words, but rather her tone that had caused him alarm, there was an edge of melancholy to it, a touch of resignation, he had assumed it was because her youngest son was getting married. But he understood now.

"_Kara loves our son, she completes him like no other, she would make the perfect partner"_

Caroline was talking about Lee, not Zak. She had seen what they had missed, or maybe they hadn't missed it, but rather chosen to ignore it. He didn't doubt Kara's love for Zak, he had seen what little had been left of her after his death. But witnessing her with Lee was something different all together, they brought out the best and worst in each other, and for the first time since his divorce he had seen Lee act carefree, Kara gave him that. But even for Kara, this wager was audacious and permanent _'Property Of Starbuck'_ indeed, like he wasn't already. It was also a not so subtle message to the other women of Galactica, Bill chuckled to himself; Kara could be transparent at times, even if only to him.

Lee stopped breathing, 'she couldn't be serious', he could hear the various catcalls from their audience, but part of him was excited. They hadn't done this for a while, right now he wasn't Capt. Adama, the CAG he was just Apollo, and Apollo was just a competitive as Starbuck.

"Well, that doesn't really mean anything Starbuck, since I'm not gonna lose, but it was an interesting wager" he paused.

"I'll take it" he said, and everybody gasped, nobody thought the uptight CAG would ever agree to it. "But if- sorry, when I win, you do the same 'Property of Lee 'Apollo' Adama' tattooed wherever I want." And just like that the stakes had been raised. Lee was shocked at what had come out of his mouth, he wanted, no he needed her to be marked by him, his darker and more primitive side was aching for it. He knew it would be worse than branding, but he could not bring himself to take it back, he would gladly wear her name, if she wore his too. He belonged to her, and she to him, they knew it, always had and always will.

When Apollo had agreed, Starbuck was the only one not surprised, she knew him better than anyone, his twist on the wager was surprising however, 'Lee Apollo Adama' he wanted her to bear his name literally, not just his call sign, his full name, so there could be no doubt, part of her was thrilled with his possessive nature coming out, part of her was horrified, if she lost there was no going back. But if she won, that would be priceless. So what could she say but "Agreed".

**10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 GO!**

And so began the most anticipated match on the Galactica, never had Lee or Kara been so determined to beat the other, they had competed against each other before, won and lost more times than they could remember, they averaged out neither one taking a clear lead. But this would be the first time that there would be physical and permanent ramifications.

**45 minutes later…**

"Oh My Gods…"

"Did you see that?"

"What about when she…"

"Did you see him do…"

"He nearly had her at…"

"And then she…"

"I didn't even know it was possible to …"

"Holy Frak, can those two fly!"

"Do you think that 'll do it? Get the tattoo I mean?"

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**AN: Hey guys sorry for the cliffy, but it was a rather light-hearted one, no deaths or dismemberments. My first draft was slightly more 'adult', but I thought that too soon, and I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted to keep to canon, and as that draft was set on Colonial Day, I had to make a decision, so I did, I put it off, avoidance, it really works! Now on to the serious stuff, as light hearted as this, it touches on some darker themes, mainly possession and branding, In no way am I advocating branding or the tattooing the 'Property of…', I am aware that this can be done to some women against their will. In this fic it is not meant with any malicious undertones, it simply a wager and a form of 'possession' not ownership. Human beings are not property, and nor should they be considered as. If the use of this offends anyone I sincerely apologise, that was never my intention. I was going for the shock appeal and the humour (I hope that comes across). **

**I realise that my Apollo is probably more 'primitive', possessive than the show (except KBG part 1), that was a intentional choice, I would hope that I reflected the same changes in Starbuck, my desire is to show them as equals, so one does not overshadow the other in the relationship. I hope this is reflected in my writing.**

**Now, I don't normally do this but I've never had so many wonderful reviews to a single chapter before, especially not an opening chapter, and I usually reply to a review directly but with 4 fics on the go and RL to contend with I'll reply to the reviews here, this chapter is dedicated to all those who reviewed, put me or my fic on their fave lists and alerts. And to anyone reading, please feel free to leave me any comments and questions you have and if you leave your email address I'll reply directly. Anyway thanks. Inara.**

**Lea: **What can I say, thanks for being my most faithful reviewer/reader, you're kinda like my mentor when it comes to fanfiction, thank you for inspiring me to write and getting me into BSG, I owe you, most importantly thanks for always being available. It meansa lot.

**Nytel: **Thank You, I absolutely adore your fics, especially your Sheyla.

**Starbuck042786: **Thank you for your kind words, I hope this chapter was satisfactory.

**Ladydragonfrost: **Glad I could brighten your day, here's a bit more fluff, well as much as a post holocaust, on the run from artificial intelligent beings, currently at war, TV show fic can be. (lol)

**Xfool1: **Here's another glimpse of Lee and Kara at the academy, their first actually, hope you liked it. Thanks for your comments.

**Midnightair: **Not really a sequel, but will the next chapter do? Hope you like, thanks for taking the time to review.

**K'lara7: **Thank you for your lovely review, I am honoured that this was your first review, I hope you continue to enjoy the fic, and my portrayals of Lee and Kara.

**Tracyj23:** Thank you for your review, I love your work, it's an honour. Hope this chapter was pleasant.

**Bsgfan:** 'Great Fluff' why thank you, now that's a compliment and a half, to tell the truth I'm always worried that other people won't see the humour in what I find funny, but pink hair dye is a classic, especially on Starbuck. Hope this instalment was as good.

**Niquole:** Thanks for the review, yes I have read Terry Brooks, I agree his books are great, I just couldn't write every author on my list, it would never end. If you have time I strongly suggest 'The Green Rider' by Kristen Britain, it has a sequel 'First Rider's Call', a piece of fantasy that tends to go unnoticed. This quick update is for you.

**I'm sorry if I've broken any rules, I just could not access the internet for sustained period this week, hence the replies with the chapter. It'll never happen again.**

**Inara Chapter 3 soon, who won? Who got the tattoo? And where?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Usual disclaimers apply, not mine.**

**Distrubution: please don't post elsewhere without my knowledge, if you want it just let me know and i'll be happy to oblige.**

**AN1: Sorry for the delay...here's what you've been waiting for...**

**Who Are We? **

**Chapter 3**

William Adama had always said that Kara Thrace was the best pilot he had ever seen, even Saul had grudgingly agreed after Kara saved Lee at Ragnar, but that was nothing, absolutely nothing compared to what he had just witnessed. He had been intrigued, actually he had been more than curious when Lee had informed him that he and Starbuck had standing orders from Admiral Nagala not to compete in simulators or tournaments. William Adama had never had a good relationship with Lee since his divorce, he had made the usual inquiries whilst Lee was training and had heard only good things, but he hadn't gone any deeper.

He realised now that he knew very little about his eldest son, both personally and professionally,in order to satisfy his curiosity,he had given his permission for Starbuck and Apollo to fly against each other and agreed toforbid the pilots to repeat any unorthodox manoeuvres they may witness. He privately thought it was overkill but decided to humour Lee, ashe was adamant about the last clause. Now after witnessing the, he didn't know what to call it, was it a race, a show or an exhibition? He knew Lee was right, hell even in his prime he wouldn't have been able to pull off some of those manoeuvres, they were eye defying.

What had begun as an exercise to help train the pilots and to give them a safe outlet for their excess energy when not flying, had turned into an eye opening experience for Bill in regards tohis knowledge about Lee and Kara. He had seen sparks and moments similar in some of Starbucks crazier flights but he realised now that even then she had been holding back slightly and Lee, well he saw why Lee had the callsign of a God, his flying was something else when he finally stopped restraining himself. He didn't know how they didn't fly like that all the time; his respect had grown immensely to see what they had given up in order to be responsible senior pilots.

He remembered their banter before the match, and his breath had caught, he had always deeply regretted the fact that his job took him away from his family, especially Lee, Zak had always been forgiving and stayed in contact but Lee had closed himself off immediately after the divorce, he became a miniature adult whose only care had been his mother and baby brother, so Bill had never really witnessed Lee 'happy' as his presence had always resulted in some form of tension, but listening to his debate with Kara, Bill saw glimpses of the boy he sorely missed. For the first time in a long time William Adama had truly felt like a father, after Zak's death he kept Kara close and as their relationship began to develop he felt more like a father, but that relationship had always been shadowed by Lee's animosity towards him. Right now William Adama felt like a father of two children and he couldn't wait for the battle to begin. Then the countdown began and as it hit 5, Starbuck could be heard saying "No holding back Apollo, this is for real…promise?"

"Promise" Apollo's reply had an edge that Bill couldn't place, there was something else going on under the surface between Starbuck and Apollo.

And they began… There were gasps at their speed but 10 seconds into the sim they all heard Starbuck say with unmistakeable anger "LEE" and that was it, they both began in earnest, Lee stopped holding back and Kara was finally flying with the real Apollo.

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Apollo still didn't feel comfortable letting go, but at Starbuck's rebuke he dropped all his barriers and flew, he focussed all his attention on to the simulation, he knew there would be surprises, Baltar and Gaeta had promised him that, and there it was barely 20 seconds in and a raider was on his tail, he turned and shot it effortlessly, managing to avoid damaging his viper in the process, when all of a sudden he flying in debris, he began evasive manoeuvres and could feel Starbuck do the same, they both spent the next 10 minutes avoiding getting hit whilst tagging the targets that had been set up in the sim, neither of them knew what exactly what the program entailed, they were flying blind, taking on each situation asit arose. Then Lee finally saw the end of the asteroid belt they had been flying through, he could sense Starbuck was at his side and decided to up the ante, he fired at a piece of debris so that itfell directly into Starbuck's path, and pushed his throttle harder, moving into the lead, he knew she would be able to evade the debris he had only hoped for a few seconds lead, then he heard her swear.

"Frak, Lee you bastard" Starbuck's mutter was followed by Apollo's laughter. What surprised the audience was that once Starbuck was level with Apollo once again she laughed as well "well looks like Apollo's back in the game"

"You asked for it" Apollo replied, and then his alarms began to blare, 'shit' he thought those were his radiological alarms, how the frak did a nuke get on his tail? He could hear similar exclamations from Starbuck and they began to fly in their evasive manoeuvres to avoid them but nothing was working when he heard Starbuck say "frakking nukes, Apollo we're going to have to work together on this one, ready lets see if we can still pull off a 'chicken switch', ready on my mark, and mark"

Tigh and Adama glanced at each 'chicken switch' neither of them knew what Starbuck was talking about but they soon saw, Starbuck and Apollo began flying in opposite directions when they had reached a considerable distance they heard Apollo give the order to turn, and they both pulled up at high speed, that had to hurt, they're bodies were pulling massive G's, he could hear other viper pilots wince and hiss in sympathy, but it didn't last long as the hisses turned in gasps and exclamations as Apollo and Starbuck flew straight towards each other, then William realised that they were actually flying on a parallel courses to one another and as they passed one another they each took out the missile on the other's tail. William was amazed, they had flown like crazy, and their Viper's had incurred some damage but they had escaped relatively unharmed, he could hear Kara's laugh, it actually sounded like a giggle!

"Well that was fun" she said to Apollo.

"What do you think is next?" and as soon as Apollo had spoken the space around him had erupted with Cylons, the sim had placed them in the middle of a massive fire fight.

"You had to ask" Kara said as she shot down her first raider.

The next 20 minutes saw Apollo and Starbuck pull off amazing moves killing more Cylons then they could count, they were both intent on surviving, they had saved each other more times then they could count, it was unconscious on both their parts, but they had stopped their banter both wholly focussed on the most intense Viper flight that they had ever been in, they forgot they were in a simulator, everything felt real, Tyrol, Baltar and Gaeta had managed to make the effects feel 100 real. Almost all of Galactica watched breathlessly as they witnessed the pilots fly, they could hear the grunts, and swears of both as they worked tirelessly.

The nuggets were in awe, at both their instructor and their CAG, they had never seen a simulator before, nor had they seen flying like this, ever. But as amazed as the nuggets and non-viper pilots were, that was nothing compared to how the other Viper pilots and senior pilots felt, they knew how remarkable the moves were and how difficult they were to pull off, not to mention painful even in a sim, they were beyond amazed, this was an experience, they all knew how good Starbuck and Apollo were,that they both still alive after many crazy situations had proved that,and they had all heard by now of their unusual training, but nobody could have expected this!

Apollo's heart was racing, his body was exhausted but he had not felt this good in years, seven in fact. He was escaping and evading with all his effort when suddenly the sim changed and his Viper was now in atmospheric conditions, he hoped this was the last condition as his body was beginning to fatigue, he wondered what this sim was about when he noticed another Viper in front of him, with a target on it, and aimed and fired a missile at it. Then he heard a quick "frak" from Starbuck as the Viper he was tailing narrowly missed the missile and Lee understood, his aim was to get Kara, and Kara's was to evade. He laughed and they began a chase which almost mirrored their relationship, with Kara running and Lee doggedly pursuing her.

He spent 5 minutes chasing Starbuck but unable to get a lock on her when the simulation switched and all of sudden he had Starbuck on his tail. "Oh Frak" he muttered as he heard her say "my turn" in a satisfied tone. He then had to spend the next 5 minutes evading Starbuck, and he was pulling out all the stops, he then started to realise that he couldn't keep this pace much longer and decided to risk it all and try to end it, he sped up and pushed his Viper to the limit, when he felt Starbuck do the same he flipped his Viper 180° and shot at her just as she fired at him.

BANG

The next thing Kara and Lee knew their screens had gone to black, slowly as their heartbeats receded back to a normal level the noises around them began register, it sounded like cheering and applause, their names were being chanted "Apollo" and "Starbuck".

Everybody was on the edge of the seats as Apollo and Starbuck began their version of Tag, and when Lee flipped and tagged Kara just as she tagged him the room exploded, there was exclamations of shock, disbelief and awe as the simulation had ended, many groaning at the end of what had been the most entertaining 45 minutes they had experienced. At some point during the simulation Laura Roslin had grasped Bill's arm and neither of them had noticed as they both were engrossed by the match, it was only as Apollo and Starbuck's names were being called out that they realised, Laura blushed slightly and offered a small smile to Bill, "I guess that makes it a draw."

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

By mutual and silent agreement Lee and Kara showered in different places, Lee borrowed his father's and Kara used the pilots head. The last thing either could deal with is the other naked, not after that flight, they were too hyped and in the end they both had to find other people to take the edge off, it was something they had both avoided since Lee arrived on the Galactica as they were both trapped on the same ship, before the war whilst they had been training it had been easier to hide their indiscretions from one another, but on the Galactica it would be like rubbing it the other's face so they had both managed, barely. Until today, their simulation was too powerful for self relief, and in the end Lee had turned to one of the nurses, who had only been to happy to help the Captain, whereas Kara found herself frakking Gaius Baltar, actually she was so hyped that she only realised that it was the crazy doctor as she called Lee's name out, it was only when Lee's face had turned in Gaius' that she had realised what she had done, and ran out of his room as soon as she was dressed.

Lee and Kara avoided one another until the question about the tattoo came up. In the end it was decided that they would both get the tattoo, to commemorate the event. At the presidents suggestion they both had a combination of their call signs tattooed on each other 'half a blazing sun for Apollo and half of an eight point star for Starbuck, finished off with bow an arrow' Kara was tempted to choose Lee's butt for the tattoo, but after her experience she decided on his heart, it may be her only chance, she didn't feel good enough for him otherwise. Lee had already decided that he would have his mark over Kara's heart, but he was pleasantly surprised when she chose the same. They had found a tattooist on one of the fleet ships, and had him and his equipment shuttled over and 1 day after the sim match both Lee and Kara had their mark on one another.

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

It was Colonial Day, and she had worn a dress, cleaned up, made an effort and genuinely felt like a normal girl, everything had been fine, until she saw Lee. 10 years and she still hadn't found an adequate defence for those blue eyes, not when he looked at her like that, he hadn't seen that look in his eyes for over 5 years, she an still remember the first time, all those years ago, in General Cassidy's office, that incident was burned in to her very soul. She used to wonder what her life would be like if the General never came in. Heartbeat quickened as he stalked towards her, as though a predator would, she wasn't the only one who noticed, eyes all around the room were drawn to him, he exuded power and raw masculinity when he was like this, but Kara wasn't his prey, she never could be, she was the lioness to his lion, she was his partner, so met him halfway, gathering many eyes as she did, not that she noticed, she only had eyes for one man, the room disappeared around her and the universe contracted to just her and Lee, there eyes met and burned each other.

Lee finally entered the ballroom only 20 minutes late, it was as he looked for his father that he saw her, his Artemis, she was standing at the bar drinking some ambrosia, and as his eyes swept over her from head to toe, the Apollo in him rose, like a sleeping Dragon, Gods it should be illegal for her to look like that in public, where he couldn't…shouldn't, he strode toward her then, solely intent on dragging her somewhere private and showing her what she did to him and why tormenting a man, even with the call sign of a God, was a bad idea. He nearly had a stroke as she strode toward him, like a cat, her curves moved with a grace that only she had, the dress making her movement fluid, it wasn't this obvious normally not on the ground, she was like this in the air or in space where she danced to the beat of his heart, he knew he moved to hers. As they met each other in the middle, their eyes took in each detail on the other, knowing that opportunities like this would rarely occur again, just as Lee was about to drag her from the room, Kara took hand and led him on to the dance floor, she knew what he wanted as she did too, but she also wanted to extend the moment, let it burn in to her memory so she could visit it again and again, the fact that she was also rather publicly staking her claim, didn't hurt either, she knew how many women had watched Apollo on and off the Galactica.

Lee held Kara to him, and as always she fit, he often thought she had been made to fit him, he and Kara never got have this, not really, by the time they had realised the true extent of their feelings and what they meant it was too late, Zak had fallen for her. With hindsight Lee knew that their problem was from their first flight in the sims, and their first meeting, they had felt this way, they had never felt differently, they didn't know how, even when they spent two years apart, their feeling's hadn't diminished. At 28 Lee finally had the wisdom he had lacked at 18, so he cherished the opportunity to be able to hold her like this, in public, his hands around her hips, where her curves were, just for him. He was able to slowly caress and stroke, they both enjoyed the familiarity and comfort of their contact, even though they were in a room full of people, Lee and Kara were finally able to just be. And the rest of the room, got to see a rare sight Apollo and Starbuck dancing on the ground as they did in the air and in space, together as one.

As they danced Lee and Kara, conversed silently, his eyes conveyed his need, hers showed him hers. Just as they were about to head out, a call came from overhead. And they were reminded by the Gods why they couldn't be together yet, they were needed as Apollo and Starbuck, at least in space they could be together. They had that at least.

"**CONDITION ONE, REPEAT CONDITION ONE HAS BEEN SET"**

Adama had prepared for the possibility of attack whilst most of the officers had been on Cloud 9, as such there was a squad of Viper's parked on the luxury liners, the pilots who had been on reserve had a 2 glass limit, and flight suits were next to the birds. Unfortunately both Apollo and Starbuck had placed themselves on reserve; if the fleet was attacked then they were needed in the air, where they belonged. Apollo, Starbuck and 4 other viper pilots ran from the room, most of them stripping as they went. Starbuck only had the one layer to remove so had shed her dress right next to the viper, and donned her flight suit over her bra and knickers, all in less than 30 seconds. The viper's launched off, as soon as they were ready, as if they were in atmosphere, the reserves also happened to be 10 of Galactica's most qualified as flying a viper straight from virtual atmosphere to space was not any easy manoeuvre. Within 5 minutes of action stations being called all vipers were in the air. Adama had CIC, route all their calls overhead in the ballroom, as he did not have enough time to be shuttled to the Galactica, so the guests of the party which had been going on for less than a hour, got to see and hear the Galactica in action.

Starbuck and Apollo had been the first to reach the alert vipers, they had been in holding position as ordered, a base ship had jumped almost on top of them, the raiders had reached the vipers just after Apollo and Starbuck. This time however the formation of the raiders were different, then Apollo saw it, and he couldn't believe it, how did they know?

"Starbuck" He didn't even need to voice his question, she'd know.

"Yeah, I see it too Apollo", damn the bastards, now they were using their own tactics against them. "Looks like one of yours"

"You know what this means, don't you"

Starbuck just laughed, "I should thank them, I get to fly with the real Apollo again."

He didn't reply, what could he say to her, he missed it too, but he had responsibilities "All right, blue squad with Starbuck and me, Red hold the perimeter until the last ship has jumped" they moved to follow his orders.

"Blue squadron, hold off the raiders, Apollo and I'll start the attack, don't follow us, we know what we're doing, Red take out any raider's that pass us" Starbuck said as she looked over the raider's flying toward them in a double 'V', top and bottom, "watch the bottom of your vipers, they're going go for the underbelly, we have better manoeuvrability use that, keep moving, your best bet will be to use their confined space against them, good hunting."

"Starbuck, take point and I'll clear the path for you, you up for it?"

"Always, I see it, watch your back; I'm going to be busy for a little while"

"Apollo, this is Galactica, we have radiological alarms, repeat they have nukes."

"Copy that Galactica" Apollo replied as the first civilian ship began to jump.

Then the raiders were in range, and the battle began.

"All Vipers go" Apollo said, and Starbuck flew straight, heading for the gap between the two lines, any raiders near her were taken out by Apollo, on her wing, his job was harder for now he had to watch both their backs, and clear any raiders in Starbuck path, Starbuck's job was simple, fly towards the base ship and play chicken with a raider, then once its nukes were charged, lead it in to the base ship, and not get blown up by the either the raider, the bomb or the base ship in the process.

"Come on you bastard, nearly there," Starbuck taunted the raider on her tail, she was using all evasive actions to keep the raider focused on her and not on where she was leading him, and it was working.

**Bleep, Bleep**

The red light on her console told her that the raider had armed it nukes, now it was time to see if her crazy plan from college would actually work. The raider was almost on her, and she was in the base ship's range now then the raider fired its nuke. Then she suddenly braked and back flipped her viper over the raider now she was tailing him, and she was too close to him for the base ship to get a lock on her, she fired at him with a missile, whilst his went straight for the base ship and it was too close for the base ship to hit and not occur damages and the raider collided straight into the base ship which had been weakened by the nuclear detonation it had just suffered.

Starbuck whooped as she flew as fast as she could to avoid being hit by the resulting wave, as the base ship began to explode. 'Oh crap', she had hoped that the base ship would be damaged, at best she was buying time for the fleet to jump, and they had hoped to keep the base star occupied so that the Galactica could cover Cloud 9, which was defenceless but just happened to be carrying the most important people in the fleet. But their plan had worked out better than they could have dreamed. They actually took out the base star! Now she just hoped that the fleet could jump before it exploded completely she was willing to bet that would be an explosion' her heart and body pounded "I'm on my way Apollo, I hope you saved me some!"

Apollo heard her whoop, but couldn't acknowledge it, he was too busy fending off the raiders, they had turned to the target in their midst, and that happened to be him, then he heard the call back from Galactica, 'Oh Gods, they had actually done it!' then he heard her request and he laughed, "Have I ever disappointed you Starbuck?" and then he began his attack anew, by this time Starbuck had rejoined him and they began their attack in earnest, taking out as many raider's they could on their path home. It was almost like their days in the Sims; they never got to fly like this college, not in the air or in space, how could they? They didn't have any enemies, but now as they both turned their guns on the raider's he truly felt like his call sign, as the other viper's began their combat landings they witnessed Apollo and Starbuck together as never before outside the simulator, they destroyed everything in their path and flew like the gods they were, returning to Olympus.

Commander Adama, Colonel Tigh and President Roslin, listened helplessly as the battle above them took place. They could hear the radio chatter, Apollo and Starbuck's conversation confused them all, as did their plan, what little they actually shared over the comm. Adama was amazed, he knew they had a unique partnership and he had heard about their flights at college, and he had witnessed their match in the sims just last week but nothing could have prepared him for seeing it for real. Galactica had sent the communications over to Cloud 9, and Dee had managed to interface the screen to show them the dradis console. Cloud 9 should have been the first to jump, but Adama refused, he was used to being the last to jump with the Galactica knowing they were all home safe. But as he heard Lee's voice give the command to attack, no it wasn't Lee, Kara was right that was Apollo, his breath caught as Starbuck flew straight towards the raiders. Apollo was right it was a formation they had never accounted before. He looked at Tigh, who looked as amazed as he did, what the hell was she doing? And why didn't Lee stop her, it seemed to be part of their plan, but it was suicidal, she couldn't fly through a double squadron of raiders at close range and survive, no one could, but that what she was doing. He watched with the rest of the room as Apollo took out dozens of raiders near them, it was as if he was witnessing the fury of Apollo himself, on any who dare approach his beloved, they all paid. He thought he was going to have a heart attack, he didn't know who worried him more, Lee was fighting scores of raiders in their ranks, and Kara was flying straight for the base star and was being tailed by a raider. Then the raider fired its nuke at her viper and the entire room gasped as she did a retina detaching manoeuvre that put her behind the raider and she tailed the raider. The room cheered as the nuke hit the base star and she had fired her missile at the raider, and the missile and the raider hit the base star! Oh Gods what had she done, they heard her whoop and cheer over the radio and call out to Apollo and reply, and then they jumped.

Adama paced as he waited for news, they had jumped and as protocol demanded the Galactica was the last to jump, but he wasn't on the Galactica, so he didn't know if all the fighters were on board, if his kids were on board. The atmosphere in the room was a restrained cheer, they were all ecstatic, but the pacing Commander in their midst stopped then from celebrating, not until they knew. Then overhead Captain Kelly's voice came, he sounded jubilant "Sir, this is the Galactica, happy to report ALL fighters on board, no casualties, I repeat no casualties." Then the crowd cheered, William met the eyes of the President, and she smiled they were safe! Thanks to Apollo and Starbuck.

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**AN: This chapter is confuses the timeline a bit, what was present time in chapters 1 and 2, and the opening of this chapter is set after 'Hand of God' S1 Ep8, thenI jump to the end of colonial day to the ball, everything preceding is still canon. Then I go AU, after the fight against the cylons the story goes back to canon, i.e. Kara still slept with Baltar etc. Hope that clarifies it for you,I tried to make it as clear as possible without repeating canon scenes as I thought they'd be redundant.**

**AN2: Sorry for the delay, real life became a bitch, I actually had this finished a c ouple of days ago but my wouldn't let me upload, on the upside as a result I have almost finished chapter 4, so that will go up soon, once I see what kind of response this chapter recieves. Please let me know what you guys think, in hindsight it is an action heavy chapter, I tried to make the fights as different as possible, to avoid repetition. But both scenes were necessary to progress the story onward. I'm going to jumping through the established canon quite quickly, just assume if I haven't made a noticeable change (like the colonial day scene in this chapter) that my fic will follow on, along with _flashbacks_ to my preseries history. this next chapter is quite introverted and character based, so hopefully that will balance this chapter. Please let me know what you guys think, plus all of actions sequences are totally made up, so if i've broken any laws of physics or mechanicsI apologise. **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews and kind words, they were very much appreciated, I understand there may be some confusion in regards to the timeline and canon elements in my fic so I'll clear it up here:**

**PLEASE READ: **

**Everything happened up to and including 'Hand of God', then my fic comes into play, after the sim match in chapter 2-3, events carry on as canon in Colonial Day UNTIL the ballroom at which point my fic goes AU again, but the opening scene of Kobol's Last Gleaming still applies i.e. Kara still slept with Baltar, etc. So we are back to canon events. The next chapter takes place in SEASON 2, with one difference KARA DID NOT SLEEP WITH ANDERS. Everything else applies. **

**TracyJ - glad I'm not the only one, RL sucks sometimes. Sorry about the confusion between canon and my work. Thanks for the kick ass reviews on chapters 2 and 3, now that I've finally seen the entire second season I can read your fics! (When I'm not writing one of my 4 fics-I know I'm an idiot for starting 4, but live and learn) **

**Dgainey2003 – welcome to the party, thank you for the compliments, I hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know.**

**Nicquole: Well done for picking up on that! Cookies for you! Don't worry the answer will be revealed soon.**

**Shippychick and Starbuck042786: Thanks for the lovely reviews.**

**Here's chapter 4 as promised, no too long of a wait…only 5 days!   
**

**Chapter 4**

Kara Thrace was no stranger to pain, her life had been filled with it, defined by it, but even a lifetime's familiarity didn't prepare her for the sheer magnitude of pain she felt in this single moment. It all flashed before her…

'_Omnia illa et ante fiebant_

_Omnia illa et rursus fient_

_Ita dicimus omnes.' _

'_All of this has happened before_

_And all of this will happen again_

_So say we all.'_

The first time she felt her mother's fist break her ribs, the taunts that haunted her through her life, her father's hands that shone like a beacon of light through the endless night of her childhood years, the doctor informing her she could never play professional pyramid, all her dreams shattered in an instant, the moment she got her acceptance letter to the academy and the freedom it represented. Her first sim flight, with Lee, and all the feelings that came with it, the moment they first met in the General's office, their training, brawls, tests, races, years of competition, yet her only competition was her truest companion. The pain she felt when she heard about his numerous indiscretions, her meeting and frakking a guy in a bar with deep brown eyes that was so different to the sapphire ones that haunted her yet familiar in a way that called to her. Waking up the next day and realising her indiscretion's last name was 'Adama', her dream and nightmare come true. She spent the night with Adama, her deepest desire since her first sim, only it was the wrong Adama…Kara Thrace fraks up again.

Falling for Zak, gods how she had fought it, in the end her stole her heart, Lee's face when he she told him, she had fallen in love…with his baby brother. For a fraction of a second she thought he would explode, but he had just smiled his smile and congratulated her, said his baby brother was the best, and the final piece of her heart broke, and she let go of Lee. Zak's face when she said 'yes', his dreams come true, Kara's oldest dream finally broken. Caroline Adama's maternal love, something she had never felt before, her acceptance into her family, all with a shadow in her eye, Zak oblivious to it all. Pleasure and pain she knew them both intimately but the latter was her constant companion, Caroline informing her of Atlantia's offer to Lee and his acceptance, the pain that inevitably followed.

Zak's flight, Zak's crash, Kara witnessing the ball of flame that took her lover from her, that moment forever burned in her soul, she should have known her pleasure is always followed by pain, it was the cycle of her life. Her guilt, her pain and Zak's death her ultimate punishment from the Gods, her future destroyed by her own hand. Her first meeting with William Adama, never had she dreamed it would be on the eve of his son's funeral, years of being Lee's best friend and 2 years with Zak, and her first conversation was about the death of his son. Her isolation at the funeral, her feeble attempts at maintaining military decorum, in the midst of one of her nightmares, witnessing Lee standing strong for Caroline, the only woman to have unconditionally loved her and she paid her back by killing her son. It was all Kara could do not to throw herself at their feet and beg forgiveness, to have Lee hold her, just when she thought she would break down and beg Apollo for his strength, Bill took her hand. Such a small gesture that meant so much, the gesture was so reminiscent of Lee that it nearly killed her.

Lee fight with his father after the funeral, where she witnessed the fury of Apollo, he was relentless in his assault, saw the weakness in his father, his pain at the loss of his child and he attacked mercilessly, for the first time Kara had truly been afraid of Apollo, so she stayed silent to avoid his fury, Caroline's plea's went unnoticed as Lee raged, his baby brother's death struck his very core. The last time she saw Lee before she left for the Galactica and the fight that ensued, gods that was one of her most painful memories, his fury for the first time truly focussed on her. As the spray from a bullet entering the ground clouded her vision her mind took her back to their fight on the Galactica, and he attacked her again, nobody knew her weak spots like Apollo, and nobody exploited them like Lee, she remembered it all, her fist punching him just before he struck her.

'_Why did you do it Kara? Just tell me why?'_

She could still hear the pain in his voice, she tried to avoid his eyes, but she had lost that battle years before and she recognised what she saw pain, anger, humiliation, disgust, hurt and all because of her. She had slept with Baltar, again. She even knew why Lee was angry at her indiscretion, she remembered the dance floor, they had an understanding and she had reneged on that, even though she had called out Lee's name in the midst of her passionate throes, twice now. He would never know that regardless of who she slept with it was always his face in her mind and his name on her lips. Kara's attention was brought back into the present as the fire fight was waged around her, the agony of her twin wounds on her stomach reminded her of where she was, she had front row seats to the Caprican resistance vs. the Cylons, she didn't who was winning, she didn't care not even when she realised a Cylon heavy raider had entered the fray, she fell back into her pain filled thoughts, Lee.

_Lee…Lee…Lee_

It always came back to Lee, he filled her thoughts, her life, the key moments in her adult all involved him somehow, their lives were entwined, and as she lay bleeding into the Caprican soil, she begged the Gods to take care of Lee, she hoped he'd forgive her, forgive himself, he wouldn't though. That she knew with all her heart, she ran away, that he could forgive, he was used to her running away, but her death, on Caprica, away from him and out of his control he could never ever forgive.

'_Lords of Kobol hear my prayer…'_

'…_Captain…I'm really sorry'_

Kara absentmindedly noticed that the raider was firing on the Cylons and that Helo and Anders were making their way over to her. As Kara realised that her wounds were relatively superficial and that mostly she was still suffering the after effects from surgery, blood loss and a deep cut in her hand from the shard she used to kill Simon, and that pain that she had been paralysed by, was actually mental, emotional anguish, so she forced herself to move, to get back to Lee, she needed to fix this. As she lay bleeding into the ground and she relived the best and worst moments of her life, nearly all of which involved Lee in some shape or form. She realised that her heart was taken; she had given it to her wingman, her soulmate 10 years before. As she was helped into the raider she was already mentally making the calculations to jump back to the Galactica, she needed to get away from this nightmare, to go home to Lee.

**

* * *

**

_This is Starbuck, do you read?_

_Hello? Is anybody getting this? Hello?_

'She was back', never before had Lee felt so elated and furious at the same time, she was back, but she had ran away. He wasn't unfamiliar with the latter, he didn't know anybody who sabotages themselves like Kara, he knew that she believed that she didn't deserve happiness, and as a result whenever her life was going well or she felt content undoubtedly she would do something to frak it up. Like Colonial Day, for the first time in years he thought they were both ready to take the next step, seeing her in that dress. Standing there on that dance floor, holding her in front of everybody with no recriminations, just Lee and Kara, that was until the cylons decided to gate crash the party and they were not so subtly reminded that the universe still needed Starbuck and Apollo. At least Apollo and Starbuck got to dance, their clash with the cylons was almost as good as sex, unfortunately after the flight he was detained by his father and Colonel Tigh where he had to explain his tactics and why he and Starbuck were so familiar with the new formation the cylon raiders had adopted. He didn't know who was more surprised his father or Tigh, when he told them that the cylons seemed to be using tactics and strategies that he and Kara had developed at War College and OCS. They could only assume that the Cylon's on Picon had found and used the information, the implications of that was not lost on any of them, so Lee briefly outlined his and Starbuck's work at college and OCS.

After the official debrief Lee ended up sparring with his father, which helped him work off the extra energy he had after the fight. So he didn't catch up with Kara till the morning after, where he realised that Kara was enduring a literal 'morning after' with Gaius Baltar of all people, 'the frakkin vice president!' He didn't know why he was so angry with Kara, they both used other people after a particularly hyped up flight, but this time it was different, he just couldn't place why, and that bugged him. The fight that followed was one of their worst in two years, he needed to make her feel as bad as he did, but she appeared nonchalant and unrepentant which only served to further enflame his fury, and he attacked her both verbally and physically, he hit her for the first time he struck her outside of sparring and boxing, or even joking around. He felt sick just thinking back on it, as bad as striking her was, that could be forgiven as she struck him first, his verbal assault was much worse, he used his knowledge of her and attacked her at most vulnerable points. He was ruthless in his jabs, and when she reminded him that she was a 'screw up' his heart broke, she was right. He of all people should know Kara's pattern. But in all the excitement that followed he didn't get the chance to apologise and the next thing he knew she had jumped to Caprica.

'_I'm a screw up Lee, try to keep that in mind'_

If Kara had thought that Lee was furious before, that was absolutely nothing compared to when he was told where she had gone. His office still showed signs of his outburst, for the first time since Kara had told him she had accepted a position on the Galactica, and after Zak's funeral, Lee was unable to hold his emotions in, his restraint wasn't that strong. She had left, but for the first time it was somewhere he couldn't follow, couldn't watch her back, she jumped into Cylon controlled territory alone for a relic. Oh he was way beyond fury and rage, his wrath knew no bounds. He was furious at the President for manipulating Kara, he angry at his father for his unwitting role, he was pissed at Kara for leaving but he knew he had pushed her away as well. It was only after the president had isolated Kara from his father and himself that Kara left, once she had lost the two strongest ties in her life she was easily manoeuvred into retrieving the 'Arrow of Apollo'.

And there she was, with the Astral Queen as her backdrop she had never looked so beautiful, Lee let his gaze roam from head to toe, searching for any obvious injuries, she had a slight limp, and her shoulders were slumped, but what worried him most was her eyes. She was exhausted, every pore in body emanated fatigue, she seemed bone weary as if she had to hell and back and had finally had enough. It was that slight tinge of defeat that made Lee bury the last remaining vestiges of his fury and he strode forward and grabbed Kara, holding her tight all the while thanking the lords for returning her to him, uncaring of the audience, he took the opportunity to kiss her, it wasn't long or deep or even very passionate but it was heartfelt and conveyed his relief at her return. Before he had chance to acknowledge the president greeting Kara his world was knocked from its axis again, he couldn't catalogue the number of emotions that travelled through him seeing the body of the woman who had attempted and very nearly succeeded at assassinating his father in front of him.

**

* * *

**

_'That **thing **put two rounds into my father's chest!' _

_'You missed a few catastrophes while you were away…'_

_'It's good to have you back Kara, thanks for bringing in the trash.'_

Lords, Lee's words were still ringing in her head. Adama was shot; the man she adored, worshipped, loved and revered had been shot! Whilst she was running around Caprica with rusty relic, her family were fighting for their lives, Adama at deaths door, Roslin incarcerated, Tigh in charge, Lee mutinied…twice! It was the last one that she still had trouble coming to terms with. Lee, he who used to be the rule book personified had held a gun to his superior officer's head, as well as orchestrating and abetting the president's escape from the Galactica. She was in shock. Her plan to return and apologise was not exactly going as she had planned…now she was sitting on Kobol, she still couldn't believe that, they found Kobol!

'_You're gonna find Kobol. Birthplace of us all. Kobol will lead you to Earth.'_

Leoben was right; his words still rang in her ears, over and over again, the truth of it resonating in her.

'_I know you, you're damaged. You were born to a woman who believed that suffering was good for the soul, so you suffered. Your life is a testament to pain. Injuries. Accidents. Some inflicted upon you by others, some inflicted upon yourself. It surrounds you like a bubble. But it's not real. It's just something she put in your head. It's something you wanna believe because it means you're the problem, not the world you live in. You wanna believe it because it means you're bad luck. You're like a cancer that needs to be removed. Because you hear her voice every day. And you want her to be right.' _

As she sat at their campsite gazing into the fire, Leoben's words ran through her mind, so did Simon's and the blonde cylon and Sharon's, on some endless loop.

'_You're different Starbuck, you're special, Leoben told you that'_

* * *

As Lee sat down next to her she couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine. If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine they were on Picon, training, the rain was familiar too. She remembered them trying to sneak up on each other, or working together to finish a 'mission', Gods there were so many memories, she remembered when they had a group task and Lee had decided to hide the coffee, oh the pandemonium that ensues as cranky cadets and instructors alike had to survive the early start without their caffeine, she and Apollo had no such problems. 

"What's on your mind?" Lee asked, as he saw that her face had gone from melancholy to having a slight smirk.

"Remember when you were pissed because everybody at college was ribbing you about the GB incident, so you decided to get them back by hiding the coffee when we were on that week long wilderness survival exercise, I can still remember instructor Thomas' shakes of withdrawl. Wonder what the old man would say if you tried that now?"

Lee laughed at the memory, glad that they could still reminisce together, "I think dad would court martial us both, family or not, nobody messes with his coffee."

"I know you're more like him than you realise…"

"What do you mean?" Lee asked as he realised she had stopped mid sentence.

"I've known your father for over 2 years and we've gotten close, I've never seen him lose it like that before. Lords the expression on his face as he was choking Sharon, I don't ever want to see him like that again. Even when he found out about my part in Zak's death or after the funeral when you attacked him, the closest I've seen anyone like that was…he reminded me of…" again Kara broke off the thought, unsure whether or not to continue, whether their friendship was strong enough to survive this conversation here and now.

Lee winced as Kara brought up bitter memories of his anger at his father, but he was curious about why Kara stopped again, Starbuck had never been afraid of saying anything to him before.

"Reminded you of..." Lee prompted.

Kara took a deep breath, "...of you, he reminded me of you. When we had that fight about my decision to join Galactica"

Lee's heart stopped. They never spoke about that night, ever. Not even in their silences, that argument, that fight everything to do with that night had been buried so deep by the both of them that it never happened. it was the only way either of them could go on. Except now she spoke of it, reopened the wound he made himself forget existed. Even now he could still feel the reverberations of that night in his soul, the night where they had come so close to breaking their friendship, breaking each other, that fight took 2 years of their lives to come back from, took two years to forget. "He-I scared you?" He didn't know if it was a question or a statement, it didn't matter he knew the answer.

"No-Yes" she didn't know how to answer, at Lee's raised eyebrow she added "it was unexpected" as she looked into Lee's eyes she felt compelled to reassure him "I'm not afraid of you" she grabbed his hand, to reinforce her point, this time she said it directly to him, so he had no doubt "I could never be afraid of you, it was just a surprise."

"A surprise, I nearly-"

"But you didn't, and I was no angel, remember." Kara reassured him; he squeezed back grateful for the contact.

For the first time in almost 3 years Lee began to heal, even if he had buried that fateful night, buried the wounds that they had inflicted upon each other, the scars were still present, but sitting next to Kara on Kobol, even in the midst of the war and their quest to find Earth, Lee breathed freely. Part of him was relieved he and Kara didn't get together on Colonial Day, they weren't ready, they still had old wounds that needed to heal, they needed to forgive each other and themselves before they were ready to move forward. Even though Kara had brought up that night, they still hadn't confronted it, he knew that conversation would not be easy, but it would have to happen, sooner or later that can of worms would have to be opened. He cursed the rain on Kobol, it reminded him of that night, and the world shattering argument that took place in the midst of the Picon summer monsoons, on Atlantia, Galactica and in space he could forget, unfortunately on Kobol the memory surrounded him like the rainfall that was never ending. He smiled a bittersweet smile as he heard Kara mutter, it seemed as if she was trapped in the same memory as him. "frakkin rain"

'_Frakking rain indeed.'_

_

* * *

**Well? What did you think? I know it's not as fluffy as previous chapters, but it was neccessary. Let me know of any thoughts or queries, R & R.**_

_** Thanks**_

_** Inara. xxx  
**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Usual disclaimers apply, not mine BSG belongs to Moore and Eick. **

**Distribution: Please let me know before posting anywhere else.**

**Warning: without spoiling the chapter too much, this chapter has someadult content, not explicit, but if that bothers you email me and I'll send a 'cleaner' version to you. However this story is rated M, for a reason so you were warned. Authors Notes at the bottom. Here's chapter 5 hope it was worth the wait…**

**Chapter 5:**

'Adama'

Kara wondered as she packed if her life would ever break away from the name Adama. It seemed as if anyone with the last name Adama believed it was their life's mission to take care of the frak up known as Kara Thrace. First there was Lee, who challenged her, took care of her, her wingman and partner. Then she met Zak, who stole her heart before she knew what had happened. It was impossible not to love Zak, he had that way about him, but Zak was gone, they had buried him less than 24 hours ago, she was still drowning in her guilt, until another saviour with the last name Adama entered her life. This time it was Commander William Adama, somehow without knowing anything about her he offered her something to live for, a fresh start away from everything that reminded her about her life with Zak, the one she never got to have.

She remembered the wake this afternoon at the Adama house, as one by one the well wishers left until it was only herself and the Adama's. The tension was palpable, the room was filled with it, she didn't think it could get any worse, boy had she been wrong, it just took one word, and then all hell broke loose.

_**Flashback**_

"Lee" Bill Adama's pain filled voice broke the tense silence.

"Don't, just don't" Kara blinked, that wasn't Lee, he had never sounded so cold, so dangerous not her Lee.

"I know you're angry…" Bill tried again.

"Angry" Lee spat venomously, "I'm so frakking beyond angry, how dare you stand there, and grieve, like you even **_cared _**about Zak, when we all know that he would still be here if it wasn't for you!"

"Lee!" Caroline exclaimed as the room witnessed Bill blanch.

"It was an accident son" Bill attempted to break through to his eldest child.

It was the wrong thing to say, Kara witnessed the Adama family implode right in front of her, and it broke her heart, not only had she killed Zak but she caused all the pain and recriminations that followed. What was worse, was what she had done to Lee, Lee was never a gentle soul, not like Zak, he had to grow up too soon for him to be able to remain gentle. Kara had always known that, she had seen him angry, drunk, happy, tired, alive and cocky. She had seen him focus all his anger on a single target before, it was one the things that made him such a dangerous opponent, but never had she witnessed that fury focussed on family, or a superior officer, both which applied to Commander Adama. Her heart broke again at the changes she had caused in Lee, again and again he attacked Commander Adama, never relenting over and over, until there was nothing left but a broken shell of man who had buried one son and been buried by the wrath of the other. In the end it was Caroline's plea's that broke through to Lee, and he escorted his overwrought mother to her room.

* * *

As Bill left the room Kara didn't know what to do with herself, should she stay where she was, follow Bill, or find Lee. In the end her own cowardice won, she went after Bill. He was standing on the porch watching the heavy summer downpour, it was an appropriate backdrop. During the funeral, a few hours earlier, it had been bright and sunny neither of which matched Kara's inner turmoil, the rain however matched her emotions perfectly. She remembered Bill's hand taking hers in the middle of the service as her own strength was failing, and decided she could at least return the favour; she grasped his hand, mirroring his earlier actions but her thoughts had been silenced by Bill's heart wrenching question. 

"Is Lee right, did I kill Zak, with my expectations?"

"Lee…He's just hurt and angry; He loved Zak more than anything"

"And I didn't" Bill asked, his voice filled with pain.

"No that not what I meant, of course you did, it's just…"

"Just what…"

"Zak was his baby brother, Lee would have given him the world, I don't think he ever imagined Zak not being in his life, and the shock of his death hurts Lee, and he could never deal well with hurt, so he gets angry because its easier to deal with, and when Lee gets that upset, the only thing he can do is lash out, and his issues with you made you the obvious target. Sir please understand that he didn't-"

"If you know my son half as well as I think you do, you know that he meant every word."

Kara didn't reply, what could she say, he was right.

"I guess I never noticed until now how much Zak acted as a barrier between Lee and I. He's always been civil before at least he appeared civil. Did I ever know him, and what about Zak did he feel the same? Did I ever know my sons?" William sounded lost.

"Zak couldn't lie, he showed you everything he thought and felt, he was always open, no hidden agendas, no pretences just Zak. That's one of things I loved most about him. Sir if there's one thing you should never doubt it was Zak's love for you, he was so proud of you and Lee."

"I don't know why, I was hardly there for his childhood, I was gone by the time he was ten, seeing them a couple of times a year, it wasn't enough, that's one of reasons I wanted them both to join the service, part of me always thought that maybe I could get to know my sons as men, but I'll never get the chance anymore. Zak's gone and Lee, I don't think Lee will even stay in the same room as me anymore."

Kara's eyes teared for the millionth time that day, she wanted to, no she needed to fix this; after all it was her fault. "Just give him some time and space, that's all you can do when Lee's like this."

"I'll be back on the Galactica in a couple of days and Lee will be on the Atlantia, I don't think he could any further away if he tried."

Kara tensed when William Adama mentioned the Atlantia, it was still hard for her to believe Lee was stationed so far away, for over 5 years Lee had been part of her life, him not being there seemed unnatural…wrong. At least before she could lose herself in Zak and their life together, she didn't what she would do now, she'd lost both of her lifelines. Lee had been avoiding her since he came back for the funeral, she knew he was taking care of his mother, but part of her knew that he was waiting for everything to die down, because they both knew that when they acknowledged each other they'd have to face the pain they were both feeling, and the Adama family home was not the place for that. She was both anticipating and dreading that meeting, so far they hadn't even looked into each other's eyes. They didn't need to; the emotions they were both feeling were strong enough to be felt from a distance. In the midst of her deep thoughts she missed the commander attempting to gain her attention.

"Kara…Kara…Starbuck!"

"Sorry sir, you were saying?"

"I asked what your plans were; I understand your teaching post is coming to an end soon."

"I hadn't really thought about it sir, at first I only took the post because my old Commander insisted, and then I stayed an extra year for Zak, I'll just go where the fleet wants me to I guess."

"There's a spot open on Galactica…"

"Sir?"

"I've seen your record, even with all the infractions any Commander worth their salt can see your aptitude as a pilot and as an officer, you'll probably get a lot of offers, but I'd like the opportunity to get to know you Starbuck"

Kara was floored, he wanted to get to know her, a spot on the Galactica, he was right it wasn't the most prestigious post in the fleet, that went to Nagala's ship the Atlantia, where Lee was, where she had a spot reserved by Nagala himself, only Nagala and Lee knew, she hadn't even told Zak. But William Adama wanted the opportunity to get to know her; the cynical part of her wondered whether he would still care if he knew about her part in Zak's death. Her gut was telling her that she should go to the Galactica, it was exactly what she needed, a distraction from Zak's death and Lee, as well as her guilt on both parts. But the part that was Starbuck knew that as much as Kara needed to go to the Galactica, that it would be a transgression that neither Apollo nor Lee could forgive. Ever since she had known Lee, she knew about his difficult relationship with his father. She had always been intrigued, because the 'Husker' she had read about was shockingly similar to Apollo. She knew in her heart that Commander Adama loved his son's; the last 24 hours had more than proved it. She realised that she had just witnessed Adama pay the price for her crime, the least she could do was honour his request, Gods only knew how lonely he must be on that Battlestar all alone. Kara's guilt lessened as Adama's eyes lost their deadened look for just a moment as she agreed to join the Galactica, but the guilt soon returned as remembered that she still had to face Apollo and his inevitable wrath.

* * *

**Evening of the funeral, Play Park on Picon**

Lee was floating, actually he was drowning, figuratively and literally, after making sure his mother had fallen asleep Lee had headed straight for the nearest bar, he needed to get drunk, and quickly.

'Zak was dead'

His mind still couldn't grasp that his baby brother was dead, he would have given anything to swap places with him, actually he had already given Zak the most precious thing in his life, Kara. But if Zak was dead then it was all for nothing, all the pain, guilt and heartache were for nothing. Now here he was sitting in the park he and Zak used play in as children, with his bottle of Whiskey, he didn't want the sweetness of Ambrosia, no Lee needed to drown his grief, despair, pain and guilt and for that he needed whiskey. As his mind wandered back to days past, his few pre-Kara happy memories all of which involved Zak, he didn't even notice the rain, or the fact that he was soaked to the bone. He just kept swinging and drinking, he hadn't looked in her eyes once, not since he was told, he was afraid of the pain he would see, to see the anguish that he felt in his soul mirrored in her eyes would be too much for him. So he had concentrated on his mother, and avoided Kara, because he didn't know what would be worse seeing her pain first hand or having to acknowledge that Zak meant enough to break her. He was ashamed of that, that he still resented that she loved him, he understood it, he loved Zak too, but even as he mourned his death Lee knew that part of him still felt angry at how much he (Zak) meant to Kara, and as a result he felt guilty.

Zak and Kara, Kara and Zak the two touchstones of his life, and now Zak was gone and he thought he had let go of Kara. Gods how wrong could he be, Zak was gone but Kara was still here, and in pain, even in his drunken haze he remembered that he could never bear to see Kara in pain. He'd do anything for her, even step aside and let his baby brother have her, he'd let her go, and she fell in love, even got engaged to Zak, but now they had both lost him, he needed Kara, now more than ever.

* * *

**Kara's Apartment, Picon**

**Same Time **

Kara was packing, well it was more like throwing clothes in a bag, but to her it was packing, clothes was the easy part, deciding what personal possessions she should take was a lot harder, in the end she just added a picture of her, Zak and Lee, she didn't need anything else. The loud banging on the door, saved Kara from thinking of other time wasting acts she could do instead of finding Lee, that was a conversation she wouldn't mind putting off till never. Unfortunately the Gods didn't agree, as the face that greeted hers as she opened the door was a very wet and drunk Lee Adama, lords he reeked of whiskey, she didn't know if he wore more whiskey than he actually drank, but she didn't _really_ want to know.

"Lee!"

Lee didn't even reply he just shoved past her and entered the apartment.

"Hey!" Kara exclaimed, she wasn't angry yet, but he had just wiped a copious amount of water on her as he passed her.

Lee just took a large swig from his whiskey bottle; he still hadn't met her eyes, so he looked around her apartment.

Kara felt the temperature in the room drop as Lee saw her half packed bag and her heartbeat raced in abject fear as his body froze with realisation. _Damn_ she did not want him to find out like this. She was brought out of her thoughts as her mind registered a frightening sound. _Laughter, cold brutal emotionless laughter _that sent shivers up her spine…and she knew that whatever happened tonight was going to test her and Lee.

"Lee?" Kara asked hesitantly unsure of whether or not she wanted him to answer.

"Should have known" Lee said bitterly.

"What? I don't understand what should you have known Lee?"

"After all it's your M.O isn't it? 'Frak and Run' and its time to run now isn't it, never mind that Zak's dead, that mum's heartbroken, or that I might need you-"

"Hey! That's not fair, and don't you think you've drank enough, Gods Lee this isn't like you, first you attack your father and now you show up drunker than I've ever been let alone seen you before." She snatched the bottle away from him.

"Hey! Give that back…get your own"

Kara took a large gulp of the whiskey, she needed the fortification. "Lee your clothes are drenched, you need to change and then we'll get you sobered up…okay?"

Lee apparently wasn't listening; instead he was looking at her artwork and poetry on the walls.

"Lee" Kara tried again, she had got some of Zak's clothes and a towel to dry him off with, and he still ignored her as he made his way to her stash of alcohol. "Damn! Stop drinking damn it, it's not helping Lee."

"I understand now, why you drink I mean. Its stops the pain, doesn't it, stops you having to feel any of it, and you Kara have always been afraid" Lee said not taking his eyes of the walls.

Kara took a step back, "Stop it Lee."

He just laughed that glacial laugh that sent chills down her spine. "_Fearless Starbuck, but you're not are you? Fearless I mean, you've always been afraid, of being happy, being loved…me"_

"Lee _please" _Kara pleaded.

"None of it matters anymore Kara…" He said despondently, his mood changing again.

"Don't you dare say that Lee!" just the thought that Lee could give up terrified her, but she drowned out her ever present fear with anger.

"It's true; I just don't see the point anymore-"

SMACK! The slap struck him straight across his left cheek, hard.

"What about Caroline, your mother remember, are you going to make her mourn both her children! Or me, are you that selfish."

Lee didn't know if it was the slap or the words or even a combination of both but he snapped. Grabbing the hand that had slapped him seconds earlier Lee threw Kara against the wall and held her there.

"SELFISH! Everything in my life has been about other people, mum, Zak, society, nothing I do is for me, I have nothing that is mine; I have nothing left!" he roared at her.

"You have your family, your career, you have ME!" Kara said trying unsuccessfully to get out of his hold.

"I just buried my family; my career was never my choice and you I gave to Zak" Lee shouted back at her.

Kara couldn't stop the fury that travelled through her at his statement or the smack that came with it. Her tears however came because as much as they had previously denied it, they both knew the truth of the statement.

"Damn you, Apollo!" Kara cried as she hit him, her punches falling harmlessly against his chest.

"I already am" and he let go of her, and she fell back against the wall. Lee made his way back to the whiskey and noticed her bag again, with the photo on top.

"So where are you running off to this time" he failed to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

She cringed, "Er-my teaching contract was about to end, and with what happened, well anyway I'm shipping to-"

"Oh Gods Starbuck, I'm so sorry for being a jerk, I completely forgot, so you're finally coming to Atlantia, Nagala must be happy. You'll love it Starbuck, just you, your viper and the stars."

Kara's heart broke for the millionth time that day, he sounded, well not happy but less depressed than before, she couldn't keep up with his mercurial mood swings, it gave her whiplash trying to keep up, but she couldn't let him think that she was joining Atlantia…joining him that would be cruel. "No Lee…you've got it wrong, I am joining a battlestar…I got asked…I was offered a position…on…on…Galactica…" she finally managed to tell him and then she waited for the inevitable outburst.

"WHAT!" Lee couldn't believe his ears; she had not just said she was joining the Galactica, his father's ship. Fury as he had never felt before consumed him and unable to control or suppress it, in a fit of rage he threw the bottle of whiskey against the wall, less than a metre away from Kara's head, it made a satisfying smash, the destruction felt great.

"How can you- after everything…you know what he did, you've always known…HE KILLED ZAK!" Thoughts were flowing so fast through his mind that he couldn't settle on a point.

"He lost his son Lee, isn't that enough?" Kara tried again to reach him, but she was scared, she had never seen him lose it like this, for the first time in her life Apollo's rage was focussed on her and her alone.

"NO! I can't believe you're siding with him, choosing him over me!"

"It's not about sides Lee, I need this, ME! I want to do this Lee, I can't be here, not after…and he's all alone."

Lee didn't say a word he just snatched up the remaining bottle of alcohol and stomped out of the apartment and back into the rain.

Kara just stared at the door that had been slammed so violently that it came off one of its hinges. She didn't even pause to change, but ran after him in the rain, he was far too angry and drunk to be left alone.

* * *

Within minutes her shorts and tanks were drenched through, and she regretted not adding protective layers, she picked a direction and ran. Hopefully he was still nearby. She found him in the alley behind the abandoned building that was adjacent to hers, he was pounding away at the wall, and she could see the blood grow with each punch. 

"LEE…LEE…DAMNIT…APOLLO…STOP IT!" Kara yelled, in the end she had to physically restrain him to stop him from doing any further damage. She used her tanks in an attempt to stop the bleeding; the rain had washed most of it away.

Seeing her tend to his hands so gently, tenderly almost broke him, an act so unlike Starbuck yet so like his Kara. But she wasn't **_his_** Kara, not anymore; she was leaving, running away to the Galactica, to his father of all people. What really hurt him was the fact that he knew that she was aware of how he would feel his reaction and yet she was going anyway. Gods he was so sick of her hurting him, first she chose Zak, his baby brother for Gods' sake, and now she was going with his father! "Tell me Kara, am I ever going to be first with you, huh? Am I?"

"Lee-" Kara began her voice filled with pain.

Lee didn't want to hear it, he didn't want to hear her say that his father was more important than him, so for the second time that evening he slammed her against the wall, but this time he used his mouth to silence her, this time she didn't get the opportunity to voice her objections.

The kiss was hard, unyielding, passionate and challenging all at once. With his kiss he challenged her to stop him, deny him, to deny what they had, he dared her to stop the kiss, to try, he dared her to carry it on, he dared her to defy the Gods. And Lord's save her she couldn't deny him, so she met his challenge, she kissed back furiously. Her kiss was fuelled by anger, pain, loss, guilt, passion, lust and love everything she had always felt around Lee. Her guilt at causing Lee this pain, but she knew deep down that she needed to heal, to rebuild herself, and she couldn't do that near Lee, he'd save her and she needed to save herself. So she kissed him, hell she couldn't stop even if she wanted to. Lee had her pinned high to the wall; her legs had no other option but to wrap round his hips. '_Oh Lords' his lips had moved to her neck, she moaned in ecstasy and in pain as she tried to get his lips back to hers, where she wanted no needed them, but apparently Lee had other plans._

_Damn, damn, damn, he was damned, he had just wanted to stop her reasons for leaving him, now he was putting all his energy into showing her why she couldn't leave him. He had always felt primal around Kara, had done since they first met, but right now he couldn't suppress his body's desire and need to mark him, the fact that she was trying to leave him, that she would leave him only served to fuel his desire. He marked her neck, it wasn't enough so he moved to shoulder and bit it. Gods it wasn't enough, it would never be enough, he pushed her tanks out the way, but they were clinging to her body, drenched by the torrential downpour they were in. Normally he would be grateful but tonight they were a hindrance, blocking his path, so he ripped them off her. His mouth went back to work as her hands clawed his shoulders in pleasure, mark for mark she was his equal._

_Kara barely registered that tanks were ripped and hanging off her, she didn't notice the torrents of summer rain that was falling on her, she didn't care that Lee had her pinned to an alley wall and was doing sinful things to her body, she just didn't want it to stop, ever. She managed to get his shirt off him, and then she returned all the favours he had just paid her. Her body was trembling with emotions; Lee knew all of her weaknesses and paid each sensitive spot with equal amounts of dedication and attention, his lips and hands were playing her body like an instrument made only for him. Each stroke, each kiss said "mine", and then her world exploded as his fingers entered her. Never had she come so quickly, but Lee wasn't done, again and again he worked her in and again until she could bear no more and she came utterly and completely that her body all but collapsed around him. Then with one small word her world shattered into a million pieces as did her heart._

"_**Stay"**_

She didn't know if it was a question, statement, plea or demand, all she knew was that she couldn't. So she did the only thing she could…she broke his heart, hers was already shattered.

"No"

He stiffened, 'Oh Lords', she realised belatedly that he was still inside her. As his fingers moved he spoke again.

"Stay"

Her eyes never leaving him she bit her lip to swallow the moan of pleasure his fingers created and answered.

"No"

His eyes narrowed, as his fingers began to pull out, Kara couldn't stifle her moan of disappointment. Hearing her moan he snapped as he simultaneously thrust his hand deep inside her and kissed her hard.

She was weakening she could feel it, how could she even think about leaving him, but she had to, for both their sakes. She wretched her lips from his and begged.

"Lee…Don't…don't win like this, not like this." She couldn't stop the tears that fell from her eyes.

He understood how could he not? He may not like or even agree with her choices but he understood, they could carry on and chances are she would stay, but it wouldn't be her not all of her, and with Kara he needed all, he would be satisfied by nothing less. But what terrified him the most was the part of him that didn't care, and that part was too strong to fight. He kissed her again, bruising, like a dying man quenching his thirst, he devoured her. With his eyes closed and his forehead resting on hers he put her back on the ground and simply said…

"Go"

Kara sobbed, she didn't know if it was out of relief or despair, but her tears were flowing freely, as were Lee's. Their tears merged with the rain as their eyes met.

"Lee..." what could she say?

"Don't, just go before I change my mind" he couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice, just because he understood, didn't make him happy.

Kara just nodded, and then she turned and ran away.

Lee just stood there in the back alley, half naked, with the torrential rain pouring down on him and watched Kara run away from him…again.

**AN's: Sorry for the infrequent updates, well here was the long awaited 'fight' between Lee and Kara. Sorry again that it took so long, honestly I had so many demands as an author in my head about what I wanted from this scene that made it a bitch to write. Essentially I psyched myself out as I had hinted the severity and importance of said fight in previous chapters, and then I had to live up to it! Totally shot myself in the foot there. So please let me know if I delivered, I would like to know. **

**On a similar note I have noticed a decrease in comments since my story took a less fluffy turn, which is fine as not everybody likes drama/angst, but if you are reading this then please let me know what you thought of this chapter, a lot of work went into it and I would like to know how it is received. Also it was my first time writing anything remotely close to smut, so I would also appreciate any comments on that aspect of my work, if it sucks let me know and for any future work I'll just '…' it and let peoples imagination fill in the blanks.**

**Here comes the moral moment of the AN, if I disturbed anybody with the latter part of this chapter I sincerely apologise, the incident was completely consensual, and I hope that comes across. **

**Thanks to all my reviewers,Amy, Tracy, Shippychick, dgainey, grumpy, Sairs J,and also to all the new people who have placed either myself or my story on their alert/fav lists. Thank you it is very much appreciated.**

**Inara.xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**_This chapter is dedicated to DGainey2003, who kept at me to update this fic, without her this story would never have been updated. So this one's for you Deb!_**

**Chapter 6: Artemis' secrets…**

Status Quo.

They were back to status quo, the teasing, joking, flying, fighting, it was all back to normal. It was ironic, if you had asked Lee what he wanted after his fight with Kara and her flight to Caprica it was for things to back to usual.

Before he had messed it up by attacking her for sleeping with Baltar, before hitting her, before Caprica had changed her and it had changed her.

Kara was a brilliant actress, always had been, she had perfected her 'tough as nails' Starbuck persona, always noticed yet never too deeply.

Except for him, he had always seen Kara, ever since they met as teenagers he was intrigued by her ability to lie so efficiently, that nobody ever noticed, it was why she always so deadly at the triad table.

But she had never hid from him, not since they became friends; it was disconcerting to see her lie to him so overtly and efficiently. To be honest it hurt him, more than anything, worse he wasn't sure if their friendship could survive him calling her on it.

He wasn't the only one watching her; he had noticed Helo keeping an eye on her, so Lee figured his instinct had been right; that whatever Kara was hiding from him was about Caprica.

He wasn't sure what had tipped him off first, but for the last week now he had been noticing little things, Starbuck smiled more than ever, was more boisterous than ever but Kara hadn't.

Kara had also been avoiding people; most noticeably his father and for some reason Doc Cottle. He had found the latter out the day before when he had offhandedly asked her to pick up some reports from Doc Cottle in the infirmary. He had not expected her reaction, her face had frozen in fear just for a second and then her barriers were up once again. He later found out that she had passed off the assignment to Hotdog.

But the most glaring of all clues, were the scars on her stomach, he didn't know what was more confusing the scars themselves or the fact that he knew they were medical.

When and where on Caprica did Kara manage to find a doctor to fix her up? He knew in his heart that the likely-hood that Kara had managed to find a human with a medical background was slim, but is mind didn't want to explore the alternatives.

He was tempted to ask Helo, more than tempted. But he knew Helo would protect Kara, and Lee wanted Kara to tell him, herself. So he had decided to wait, until she was ready.

But it was becoming harder each day, watching her punish herself, with long hours in her viper, in the gym or working on her viper. It was all she did, day-by-day she was falling into a pit of depression, and he didn't know how to get her out.

But enough was enough he would have to do something and soon, she couldn't keep this pace up much longer. She hurt someone or more likely herself.

He had barely had time to finish the thought when the condition one alerts came one and the order to launch alert fighter came on overhead. His body reacted automatically as he began shouting out orders, and started putting one his flight suit.

He saw Starbuck do the same out of the corner of his eye; it took all off his will power not to ground her. Kara then met his gaze and just shook her head at him, as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.

It was as Starbuck got into her viper that Lee realised that this was probably exactly what she needed, a way to work out whatever was troubling her. As his viper launched, Apollo almost felt sorry for the cylon's they were about to encounter, Starbuck's wrath was legendary and painful, as the cylons were about to find out.

**_XOXOXO _**

'Free'

It was closest word Kara could think of as she effortlessly manoeuvred her viper in space; she was free, relaxed, and calm like she hadn't felt in weeks, not since Caprica, since the farm.

Here in space Kara could be herself, could breathe. She had been exhausted, every night she was plagued by nightmares of what cold have happened if she hadn't escaped the farm. During the day she was expending all her energy putting on her façade, she was bone weary, but right now, that very moment in space Kara felt rejuvenated.

Starbuck had a goal, to destroy as many raiders as she possibly could, she finally had her moment of retribution and the cylon's would pay, she would make them pay. Starbuck couldn't stop the deep-throated laugh as she moved onto a course to intercept the raiders; she barely noticed the orders Apollo gave. It was only as he came up to her wing that she gave him her full attention.

**_XOXOXO_**

"Starbuck, do you copy?" Apollo asked for the third time.

"Apollo?"

"You with me Starbuck?" Apollo asked a hint of worry creeping into his voice.

"Always" Kara replied her voice glib, but underlined with steel.

Lee as always understood her deeper meaning, but was worried about the timing of her declaration; he prayed to the gods that she wasn't about to do something irrevocably and unbelievably stupid. He couldn't stop his voice from shaking as he called for her to explain.

"Ka-ra?"

She knew what he was asking, what he needed from her, so she replied without thought or care that everybody could hear their conversation. This was about them, Starbuck and Apollo, Lee and Kara. Nobody else mattered.

"I need to make them pay Lee, help me teach these frakking toasters a lesson they'll never forget." Her voice was a hard as ice but burned with a fury that only humans can possess.

"Always, you know you can count on me, what did they-" he broke off unable to articulate fully; he needed her to tell him, to choose to tell him. But before Starbuck could reply the raiders were within range.

"Hawk, lead blue squadron on the right flank, Bingo you take red squadron and attack on the left, I want you to box them in. Yellow squadron, and raptor 345, act as our last line of defence, cover the civilians as they jump, any raiders get pass blue or red, then take em' out. Got it?"

Apollo barked out his orders. After affirmatives came from all squadron leaders and Helo in the raptor, he continued.

"Starbuck and I are going to cover any holes, do not worry about us, we can handle ourselves just hold your lines and you'll be fine. All squadron's weapons free and attack!" Apollo's last order began the intense campaign against the 4 squadrons of long range scouting raiders.

**_XOXOXO_**

Helo watched and listened as Apollo gave out his orders, he knew Apollo had been worried about Kara as well. He had noticed the CAG watch her with an unreadable expression on his face.

Helo didn't know what to make of Apollo, before the attacks during the decommissioning ceremony he had seemed like an uptight and cold bastard. And since his return to the fleet, Helo's relationship with Apollo had started badly and remained the same. The only thing they had in common was Starbuck.

Helo still couldn't figure out how Apollo and Starbuck were friends, and best friends at that. Ever since his return he had heard plenty of stories about the legendary Starbuck and Apollo, sim fights, tattoos, training and something about pink dye? He knew there had to be something more to Apollo, and his friendship with Starbuck was indefinable.

Helo let out a sigh of relief as Apollo promised to help Starbuck. He prayed that Apollo could keep watch over her; he knew that Kara was still troubled about Caprica, and he could only hope that the battle to come would help her exorcise some of her demons.

He didn't know how right that prediction was.

Starbuck was in her element, Helo could only watch as she reined destruction down on any and all raiders within range. Her fury was unsurpassed but only matched by Apollo. They both weaved in and out of vipers and raiders alike, shooting down raiders like flies.

The cylons were outsmarted, even with superior numbers they could barely deal with the vipers out flanking them. But the real danger was the two vipers darting behind the cylon lines, causing massive amounts of chaos and destruction. If any raider had the forethought to attempt to take out one of the vipers, the other would destroy the raider within seconds.

Helo could only stare in awe, the entire battle on his dradis screen played out like a war game in front of his very eyes. Apollo's strategies were working, it was pure genius, and he had lost count at how many raiders Apollo and Starbuck had taken out personally. Over two third of the cylons had been destroyed when the call came from Galactica to return home.

_**XOXOXO** _

Apollo heard the call to return, as he locked on to a raider attempting to target Starbuck and gave out his order as soon as he had killed the raider within his sights.

"Negative, belay that order, all vipers are commanded to finish the job. I want no raiders to survive, is that understood. Finish them off. Apollo out."

"Galactica to Apollo, you are ordered to bring your squadrons back to Galactica."

"Negative, Galactica we need to finish them off-" Apollo began but was interrupted by Starbuck.

"Apollo's right Galactica, we can afford to let the cylons know that our tactics can beat them…"

"Or what our tactics are." Apollo finished off.

And with that the three viper squadrons made fast work of finishing off the remaining raiders. In the end it was the second battle in a row with Starbuck and Apollo at the helm that resulted in victory for the human fleet without a single loss of human life.

The pilots had a huge reception waiting for them back on Galactica, even the President made an appearance.

_**XOXOXO** _

Kara was happy, truly happy for the first time (outside of a cockpit) in a long time. The battle with the cylons seemed to have drained all of the tension from her body. Her body was alive and thrumming with energy, left over from the fight. She felt charged, unbeatable like she could do anything.

Kara's attention was wandering as first the President, then the Commander and finally Lee gave congratulatory speeches, it was only as her name was yelled out repeatedly that her attention focused back onto the party.

"STARBUCK…SPEECH!"

"YEAH COME ON STARBUCK!"

"SPEECH!!!"

Kara was ironically speechless, she hated public speaking, always had, pilot briefing's was the largest audience she could handle. It was then that she witnessed Lee's smirk, he knew how she felt about speeches, his grin was insufferable.

But she matched it with one of her own trademark Starbuck grins. Oh he had no idea what he was in for, she felt a moment of devious genius that she hadn't felt since before Caprica, her grin got wider…this would teach him to smirk at her.

Let the games begin; she still owed him for the pink hair prank. Now it was time for retribution, public humiliation, Starbuck style.

"Alright, alright calm down…" she began, as she jumped on the impromptu stage.

"I know you all want to hear about the battle with the cylons, but I'm not going to tell you about what I did during the fight."

**_XOXOXO_**

Apollo watched fearfully as Starbuck got on stage, he ignored the groans of the audience being denied their action filled battle recap. In the 10 years he had known Kara, he had never, ever seen her voluntarily get up on stage, even to accept medals.

So it with more than a little trepidation that he watched as she began addressing the audience; on the plus side she was acting more like the Starbuck/Kara he knew, but then again that was hardly a positive. He just knew in the pit of his stomach that he was going to regret this.

_**XOXOXO**_

"No, instead of telling you all, tales about the battle we just fought I am going to talk to you all about something soooo much better, much more interesting. Who wants to hear about 'Golden Ba-'sorry, **_Apollo's _**escapades at the Academy and at War College?"

Kara yelled into the congregation, all of whom agreed boisterously and wholeheartedly, the majority were well on they're way to being plastered.

Lee paled, 'oh gods, she wouldn't. **_She so would!' _**Oh he was beyond screwed, he couldn't get her off the stage, so unless the cylon god heard his prayers and attacked right now.

He would have to make a strategic retreat, and pray to the gods that everybody was too drunk to remember whatever tale Starbuck told them.

'That was his plan, strategic retreat and pray for mass amnesia…it could work.' Lee had only managed to take one step back when he collided into a rock hard wall. As he turned around he realised that the rock hard wall was actually his father, 'oh crap.'

"_Son,_ where do you think you're going, I _know _you don't want to miss Starbuck's speech, now do you?"

There was an unmistakeable hint of glee in William Adama's eyes as he blocked his son from exiting, or rather from running away.

So with a heavy hand on his son's shoulder Bill forced Lee to listen to Starbuck regaling the masses with one of the many misdemeanours of his youth.

_**XOXOXO**_

* * *

_Sorry about the obvious delay in updating, I won't bore you with the numerous issues I had with this particular fic, to be honest I'm not 100 happy with this chapter but I was at a point where something was better than nothing. To anybody who still followed this fic, thank you. _

_PS: I still have to write Broken Wings chapter 7, so there may be a delay. Duty chapter 9 is next in line to be updated._

_Let me know what you thought about chapter 6, old and new readers alike._

_**Inara**_


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